I'd say something delightful really, but having me tonsils swollen up to shits doesn't help. Aye, I know, it's not that swollen but frig it, when an egoist cries, the fact is that it's fucken raining. You follow? Nah, of course you don't, you're here to read the fucken ramblings of a mad fuck innit, it serves as a reminder that your life is pretty good actually. Yeah, tell that to yourself on those lone, lonely nights.
The fact of the matter is, this is how I pamper meself, I tell you how fucked up you really are and I feed off your itty-bitty offense. It's not much, people really have to learn to unleash that beautiful beast rage, instead of caging it. On second thoughts, do cage it. It's all molten rock and ash and lava once it breaks out.
So, anyways, let's get back to insulting you.
I find that people really don't have a tad bit of decency nowadays. I mean yes, a friend is a friend is a friend but really, to pile your gargantuan amount of shit on someone is really, just despicable. I'm not talking bout the much needed I-need-to-fucking-vent-me-anger kind of shit, instead I'm talking about those small things that you tend to whine about, like why your boyfriend doesn't pay enough attention to you anymore or how you keep on getting stabbed in the back by your friends. Your boyfriend hates the sight of you because you're getting fat, boring and fucking whiny. You repeatedly get stabbed in the back because you're too fucking stupid to choose your friends. Deal with it you dumb slut.
You never stop to think that other people do have their problems and fucked up shit they need to deal with. Your whining doesn't fucking help. Just because you labelled some unfortunate soul as a good listener, it doesn't mean that their ears are yours for the taking. They need it too sometimes you know, for listening to other things that don;t concern you.
Also, some people do not, can not and will not seek you for help. It may be that you're a useless fuck who can't solve the simplest of problems or you might be someone who acts like you know everything but in the end, you fuck things up so much more. Or it could be something as simple as 'I do not want to expose myself to you, hence fuck off'. Pressuring people into talking to you might just be why you suck so much as a friend. Some people prefer to open up their entire heart and soul, some people clam shut like a vice. Forcing it open kills.
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I got a minor electrocution by touching a spot on the ceiling which was leaking. Hmmm. Back to offense.
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Bugger it all innit? It's funny how people never seem to listen to what I say. I do not kid around when I tell you that I am an asshole and a fucked up person. At times, I pack my stuff and leave you hanging, mainly because I am bored and I have my attention well spent. Still some people could look me in the eye and tell me that nay, mate, you're the fucken bees knees. Honestly, I appreciate the whole 'I'll never leave your side, and will strive to help you' mentality that you have but seriously, I am not worth it. Depending on who you are, I most probably won't do the same to you. Sure you can keep me interested, but how long are you going to fake the whole everyday-is-full-of-hilarious-surprises. There's a limit, I know it, you know it, and you too have the green light from me to walk out. The world revolves nonetheless. Also, after awhile, you get fucken irritating.
There's so many flaws in us, you, me, the whole bloody lot of us and I am a judgmental person. Fuck the whole not judging the book by its cover. 8 out of 10 people who look bad are rotten inside, and even if they aren't, I for one, am not taking any chances. Yes, I acknowledge your existence when we pass by each other in the streets but fuck mate, it doesn't make us best pals immediately. Heck, it doesn't even make us friends, as far as I am concerned, you're the boil on creation's bum. I know I am, so why the fuck can't you accept that and move along. Newsflash to you: You aren't gonna be missing anything.
I take friendship lightly, not because I do not appreciate it, but because I'm much more comfortable being by my own self. Sure, once in a while I find someone who strikes me as a person with a lot of similarities and I will make the best out of that but really, that does not happen often. Especially not here with you frakkers. I mean fuckers. Ah well, tomatos and potatoes eh?
Well then, my self-pampering moment is over. Cheers, world.
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