There are so many shit that I want nowadays, I think I might go crazy if I go on this way any longer... Hence, I have decided, largely due to the fact that I know I'm not going to get this and boredom, to make an impossible wishlist. Why? Because I can. No, seriously, because that's the only thing I can do.
1. Kiseru.
I have an obsession with anything that could and would produce copious quantities of smoke, you know, cigarettes, shishas, that kind of shit. However, I started thinking that fuck this shit, I am too awesome for cigarettes, for my awesomeness makes the cigarette itself wallow in shame and self pity. I'm so awesome that I have to build a bonfire to warm the cigarette up before lighting it with a normal lighter. The thought of it having to be in contact with my godawesomely awesome lips while it's cuddled up with it'd cousins in the box sends shiver's down it's leafy spin. I'm so awesome that- Yeah, enough on that.
Hence, I stumbled across this heavenly piece of awesome which is befitting for one as awesome as I. It's the traditional Japanese pipe, made to make one more awesome than one theoretically is. Even it's tobacco, shares it's share of awesomeness because if you're going to be lit in that awesome piece of awesome, you need to have be of sufficient level of awesome. Here's a picture of how you wish you were this awesome:
The shitty thing is that the Kiseru is quickly going out of style in the not-so-awesome community nowadays and has a limited number of real traditional uh... Kiseru-makers. It goes to show that we (Yes including me) are natural morons (You, more than me) to actually let this awesome piece of awesome to die a slow death. Yeah, fuck you. To whoever is going or is already in Japan, seriously, I'll pay you to get me this shit plus sexual favours. Because I'm awesome.
2. Steampunk Goggles/ Accesories.
Why the fuck should I even explain this? The sheer amount of awesomeness in Steampunk is enough to impregnate seventeen infertile women with sextuplets five times over. The design, the incorporation of Victorian era fashion... How can one not find that fucken worth starving for...
3. Ford Mustang 1969 Boss
I have never really been a car nut. For example if you ask me what kind of engine et cetera, your question will immediately take the form of a paper inside my brain, get crumpled and be the subject of much torment at the hands of the two fucks living in there. I think that it may just be because cars today don't appeal to me in a way that they're too... Curvy, yes, too curvy. However, muscle cars, they've captured my heart and proceeded to run over it with their sheer majestic beauty... I mean the sharp lines, the beefed up exterior and my god, that sound... Holy fuck man, that's the fucking dream... If I ever want a car, it would that one up there, not anything else... Still, I have no idea what the hell those technical stuff mean, is it such a sin to just like the car?
4. Pocket Watches.
I will literally beg and grovel or basically sell my soul for this babies. I kid you not, these are the timepieces which I will not hesitate to fork out some cash for... Having one of these is like having pieces of heaven stored away neatly in your pocket. Having this obliterates the need for any human emotion or social interaction. Having this is the ultimate way of staring bug-eyed at a person and telling him that his time is running out.
5. Nikon D300S
If I get my hands on this (Which is a metaphorical arm's length away) I have pretty much removed the need to consumed food for at least five years. How can you even resist that look, that curvy body, that sly, slutty grin...
6. Zippo Black Ice/ High Polish Brass; Venetian Pattern
7. Dictionnaire Infernal by Collin De Plancy
Uh, I just really really want it. It has them demons in em!
8. Campbell Hausfeld Oxy-Acetylene Kit.
Being the pyromaniac that I naturally am, this fucken kit over here, is like a materialization of a wet dream. Practicability, you ask? Ah, yes, good point indeed but fuck it, it's a wishlist, half of the things people include are fucken impossible to have a any practical use whatsoever...
9. Tesla Coil
I'd actually settle for Nikola Tesla himself but apparently, people aren't too comfortable with neighbours that steal corpses and try to bring them back to life. They also refuse to accept any explanation given when their recently deceased relatives comes back home in time for dinner which I have to say is damn awesome. Why won't they understand?!
Anyway, since I couldn't get my hands on the great man himself, I'll just settle for his shockasmic creation which, as the picture shows, is the Tesla coil. Getting this would put a stop to all those pesky squirrels for sure, them bastard children deserve such a death...
10. Go back in time, drug the old me and throw him into an incinerator.
I swear to fucking God that was the only thing running through my mind when I actually had the brilliant fucking thought to go have a little peep on DArt... It was a fucking mistake... Christ, how did I look at myself in the mirror... Those blasphemously noisy photos, the equally blasphemous attempts to try to be creative... And that way of speech... That fucking way of speech! How the fuck did my tongue and fingers not wither and die out on the spot?! I fucking deleted every single abomination on that page... Oh god... I'm poisoned by my old existence... Shiver me fucking timbers... Why did anyone not set me on fire or throw me off the 39th floor or poison my coffee... Why did everyone not do anything... Oh fuck, oh fuck...
11. Tenum Coffee
Mainly because the first time I made it, I had to use a sock to filter it. Sigh... Good times phai, good fucking times...
12. Giant Steel Arm
Why would I want this apparent insult to God you ask? To kill my foes? No, no that is of course, too immature, I would rather use these hands to feel all the sweet pleasures it could offer... To go on a rampage then? Hah, you foolish little peasant, go back to mending the fields... Obviously for good then? Are you mad, you filthy little gremlin, I have a giant steel arm, what possible good could I use it for?
The reason is simply so that I can wave to planes and be seen. Seriously, it's fucking annoying that you see them damn planes and it kinda laze around seemingly hovering and shit... I want to wave at it and freak it out, then give it the finger while shooting fireworks in it's direction. Oh my... That would be splendid...
13. Custom made cigarettes.
Because I wont be able to get that fucking kiseru...
1. Kiseru.
I have an obsession with anything that could and would produce copious quantities of smoke, you know, cigarettes, shishas, that kind of shit. However, I started thinking that fuck this shit, I am too awesome for cigarettes, for my awesomeness makes the cigarette itself wallow in shame and self pity. I'm so awesome that I have to build a bonfire to warm the cigarette up before lighting it with a normal lighter. The thought of it having to be in contact with my godawesomely awesome lips while it's cuddled up with it'd cousins in the box sends shiver's down it's leafy spin. I'm so awesome that- Yeah, enough on that.
Hence, I stumbled across this heavenly piece of awesome which is befitting for one as awesome as I. It's the traditional Japanese pipe, made to make one more awesome than one theoretically is. Even it's tobacco, shares it's share of awesomeness because if you're going to be lit in that awesome piece of awesome, you need to have be of sufficient level of awesome. Here's a picture of how you wish you were this awesome:
 |
| AWESOMER THAN YOU! |
2. Steampunk Goggles/ Accesories.
Why the fuck should I even explain this? The sheer amount of awesomeness in Steampunk is enough to impregnate seventeen infertile women with sextuplets five times over. The design, the incorporation of Victorian era fashion... How can one not find that fucken worth starving for...
3. Ford Mustang 1969 Boss
I have never really been a car nut. For example if you ask me what kind of engine et cetera, your question will immediately take the form of a paper inside my brain, get crumpled and be the subject of much torment at the hands of the two fucks living in there. I think that it may just be because cars today don't appeal to me in a way that they're too... Curvy, yes, too curvy. However, muscle cars, they've captured my heart and proceeded to run over it with their sheer majestic beauty... I mean the sharp lines, the beefed up exterior and my god, that sound... Holy fuck man, that's the fucking dream... If I ever want a car, it would that one up there, not anything else... Still, I have no idea what the hell those technical stuff mean, is it such a sin to just like the car?
4. Pocket Watches.
I will literally beg and grovel or basically sell my soul for this babies. I kid you not, these are the timepieces which I will not hesitate to fork out some cash for... Having one of these is like having pieces of heaven stored away neatly in your pocket. Having this obliterates the need for any human emotion or social interaction. Having this is the ultimate way of staring bug-eyed at a person and telling him that his time is running out.
5. Nikon D300S
If I get my hands on this (Which is a metaphorical arm's length away) I have pretty much removed the need to consumed food for at least five years. How can you even resist that look, that curvy body, that sly, slutty grin...
6. Zippo Black Ice/ High Polish Brass; Venetian Pattern
7. Dictionnaire Infernal by Collin De Plancy
Uh, I just really really want it. It has them demons in em!
8. Campbell Hausfeld Oxy-Acetylene Kit.
9. Tesla Coil
I'd actually settle for Nikola Tesla himself but apparently, people aren't too comfortable with neighbours that steal corpses and try to bring them back to life. They also refuse to accept any explanation given when their recently deceased relatives comes back home in time for dinner which I have to say is damn awesome. Why won't they understand?!
Anyway, since I couldn't get my hands on the great man himself, I'll just settle for his shockasmic creation which, as the picture shows, is the Tesla coil. Getting this would put a stop to all those pesky squirrels for sure, them bastard children deserve such a death...
10. Go back in time, drug the old me and throw him into an incinerator.
I swear to fucking God that was the only thing running through my mind when I actually had the brilliant fucking thought to go have a little peep on DArt... It was a fucking mistake... Christ, how did I look at myself in the mirror... Those blasphemously noisy photos, the equally blasphemous attempts to try to be creative... And that way of speech... That fucking way of speech! How the fuck did my tongue and fingers not wither and die out on the spot?! I fucking deleted every single abomination on that page... Oh god... I'm poisoned by my old existence... Shiver me fucking timbers... Why did anyone not set me on fire or throw me off the 39th floor or poison my coffee... Why did everyone not do anything... Oh fuck, oh fuck...
11. Tenum Coffee
Mainly because the first time I made it, I had to use a sock to filter it. Sigh... Good times phai, good fucking times...
12. Giant Steel Arm
Why would I want this apparent insult to God you ask? To kill my foes? No, no that is of course, too immature, I would rather use these hands to feel all the sweet pleasures it could offer... To go on a rampage then? Hah, you foolish little peasant, go back to mending the fields... Obviously for good then? Are you mad, you filthy little gremlin, I have a giant steel arm, what possible good could I use it for?
The reason is simply so that I can wave to planes and be seen. Seriously, it's fucking annoying that you see them damn planes and it kinda laze around seemingly hovering and shit... I want to wave at it and freak it out, then give it the finger while shooting fireworks in it's direction. Oh my... That would be splendid...
13. Custom made cigarettes.
Because I wont be able to get that fucking kiseru...
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