Sleepless Nights 36 - How I Spent New Years Eve; From the Eyes of a Morbid 19 Year Old.

First and foremost, this, I have to point out. The real reason why everybody loves the new year is because it is the only day in the whole year where nobody is alone in the thought that they have all become older by a year and hence, death gains a whole year's worth of a lead. Plus, that's another year full of fuck ups added to that secret diary that you hide under your bed, wedged nicely between the pink frilly dress and the monster dildo.

So, what am I doing while other potentially hot busty women are out getting drunk and cheap? I'm staring blankly at fucking words, describing the useless and fucking boring human body.

Yes, I fucking wish.

I swear, there is no way in whatever it is that you consider holy to make this trial a more pleasant one. The author must've had a grudge in his twisted little panty soiling mind of his when he wrote it. Apparently, shapes isn't his strong point either. I quote "... into three and a half triangles on each side...". Half a triangle. That's funny, the last time I cut a triangle in half, it morphed into a right angled triangle and kicked me in the nuts so hard that I shat my tongue. How this man obtained the elusive creature 'half a triangle' remains a mystery...

I've been wondering how racial supremacist look at themselves anatomically. Do they imagine that other races don't have what they have, or do they psychologically add stuff to their body? Like an engine of a Mustang or something or a watch substituting their heart. Wait, this seems familiar.

I cry racist!

Then, the fucking cranial cavity. It looks like a god damned sponge that was left alone in a room with a sponge-o-phile and then hardened just for the fucks of it. I'm not shitting you, the amount of holes in that bastard child of a bone is like the remnants of a gun shooting. It's a fucking wonder how your brain doesn't leak out into your mouth or shit like that. I used to have a fantasy of using the skull as a bowl. Just like that, Anatomy shoots the bugger in between the eyes. I hope you're happy you fuck.

After searching for 'sponge', the results dominated by various SpongeBobs caused this.

So now, here I am forsaking my book while translating Malay songs into English on Google. And guess what. It's fucking hilarious. Below I bestow upon thee; fucking comedy.

Ketupat rendang sila nikmati kawan = Just enjoying my shady Sepang.
Wajik dan dodol jangan lupakan,Peninggalan nenek zaman berzaman = diamond and dodol never forget, The remains of grandmother age generations
Aku bukan lelaki yang tewas = I'm not the man who killed

But of course, I get bored. Still, that's some funny shit right there. I mean what the fuck is a Shady Sepang? SEPANG? And fucking diamonds and dodols killing the grandmother? You, Sir Google, win.

I find that of all things, Egypt lacks chaos. For those who are looking at this post bug eyed while imagining me, fuck you. Egypt is like that little evil gnome behind you that tries to severe your medulla from the rest of your spinal cord. It's cowardly, cunning and fucking annoying, which basically means that it dabbles in the crude art of sexual harassment, mugging in dark alleys and maybe a tad bit of sodomy here and there. What I mean is a full fledged riot, with god damned molotov cocktails or some shit. I mean, these guys already start fires and throw shit from their house into the street in the name of customs, why not go one step ahead. Like making a fire on top of someone.

On an unrelated note, I find it baffling (I hate this word.) that so many people don't have any fucken idea on what steampunk is. I mean really? Really? How can you not know of my childhood fantasies? Explaining it would be too hard, here's an explanation: HERE FOOLS! Also, here's some pictures to lightly denote the complete fucken awesomeness of it.

It's called the fucken Villainizer.

I beg that one of you buy/make/steal this shit for me. I'd, uh, be your personal slave for roughly ten years. And this post has gone on and on for so fucking long. It's time to go back to em words.