Mania.

Manic characteristics include irritabilty, anger or rage, delusions, hypersensitivity, hypersexuality, hperactivity, impulsiveness, racing thoughts, talkativeness, pressure to keep talking or rapid speech, grandiose ideas and plans, and decreased need for sleep (e.g. feels rested after 3 or 4 hours of sleep). In manic and hypomanic cases, the afflicted person may engage in out of character behavior such as questionable business transactions, wasteful expenditures of money, risky sexual activity, recreational drug abuse, abnormal social interaction, or highly vocal arguments uncharacteristic of previous behaviors. These behaviors may increase stress in personal relationships, problems at work and increase the risk of altercations with law enforcement as well as being at high risk of impulsively taking part in activities potentially harmful to self and others.

Well I guess that explains everything.

Anyway, it's amazing what you see when you're depressed and high at the same time. Shit, it's like looking at an ashtray and seeing the funny side of it and then at the same time feel sad coz it's fucked up side shows up to. Daym.

So yeah, laptops repaired, I lost everything. Everything. I never thought losing a couple of hundred pictures would leave this void, this vacuum in me... It's like saving a fuckload of money to buy something you really really want, you actually saved up enough and you run to the store to get it, to finally get it and hold it in your hands and then... Someone shoves you to the wall and points a gun at your head and runs away with all your money... It... hurts...

Ah well, the optimistic side of me says 'Life's fucked up ey, shit happens'.

The pessimistic side of me says 'HAH! I told you this shit is gonna happen!'.

At least there's some of the pictures with Bhai Zaim. Family pictures, I guess in the end, they are the one's that are truly valuable. Oh and the lightning picture is also in there. Fuh, thank god.

Love, love, love...

Uh okay, scratch that shit.

I just realised I'm so fucking out of touch with the news today it's pathetic. It's like being a fucking toad in a fucking glass bowl in a fucking well, drowning. Guh.

Okay, DoTA is growing in me, not playing the shit in two days makes me go 'herrrrr.... herrrrr... herrrrr......'

Mania. Oh hell yeah.

Honesty. To the Fucking Max.

1. Nobody will like what I am going to write, nobody will find it in their mind/heart to accept it and the narrow minded society always will deny it.
2. I am not suicidal. People think that me cutting myself ultimately leads to me being suicidal but I am not. I love the way my blood trickles and coagulates. That and how it reminds me of my mortality.
3. I have only 4 close friends who I would truly get steamrolled for. To those who may have the feeling that I might do that for them, you're delusional.
4. I hate mass human contact.
5. I believe that the current world has nothing worth living for except for family.
6. Watching 'The Arrivals', prolly everything that the fucker says has already been noted in my brain.
7. The book Taqwacore has more bad points that good. The book itself is awesome but the messages go overboard at times.
8. I love God. I may be that bastard that doesn't pray and sin 24-7 but He is there and I devote myself to him. Hidayah is a journey, I haven't and maybe I will never find my destination. So fuck off you retarded stereotypical motherfucking fanatics. Stop giving Islam a bad name. This is dedicated to those who think they are fucking messiahs while all they do is lead people astray. They are all around us.
9. This thing here in Egypt where there are Societies formed among M'sians. Yeah, those. I think its fucking stupid. And at the same time I'm calling all those who support this shit moronic mongoloids. Happy New Year!
10. I am sorry, truly to those who I have not kept in contact with.
11. To the fuckers who go around trying to change people: Stop being so fucking afraid of your fragility. Sebelum tolong orang, tengok diri sendiri dalam cermin dulu, tengok betul-betul iman tu tahap mana.
12. The Bible is super good reading material.
13. Muslims can keep dogs. To those who think otherwise, refer to Surrah al-Baqarah 2:115. So much for angels not coming in the house.
14. Even as an Arsenal fan, I think Wenger needs to go. Maybe a little change in the game plan perhaps?
15. My laptop is dead. As in dead dead. I'm ready to cry now. I'm about to lose my prtfolio for the second FUCKING TIME IN 12 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!! WHY ME.... 
16. I cannot see myself in any other place except being down the drain 10-20 years in the future...
17. I have no idea why but I feel as if bits and pieces of me are being left behind everywhere I go.
18. I am extremely ignorant and I love that fact no matter how many fuckers are hurt. Ha-ha.
19. I do not appreciate being insulted. Seriously. Why? Because then I'll insult the insulter back and me not being used to restrain my words (both vocabulary wise and subject wise), it'll end up messy.
20. I fear darkness, cold water, ghosts, heights, clowns and anxiety. Crazy crazy world.
21. I wish I am clinically crazy.
22. I think that half of the supporters of Chelsea and Manchester United are just doing it because they'd like to be in a winning position. Correction. 3/4.
23. Coffee is ecstasy with orgasmic capabilities.
24. I have no respect for people who cannot distinguish between Jews and Zionist. These are the people who contribute to the deterioration of the world today.
25. I try to stay away from Malays because most of them are into that stupid fucked up mentality in which Malays are supreme and all other races are inferior. What the fuck?
26. I hate fucken weddings.
27. I need to get laid.
28. Sigh. My laptop died. There goes my Lightning and my writings.
29. I am an emotional impulse driven ignorant fuck.
30. The fact that I have to do Medicine is one thing, having to do it in Egypt is another but having to do it with 500 over Malaysians surrounding me beats everything.
31. I can't make a change no matter how hard I try.
32. Chics in specs with long hair is el kryptonit.
33. Gugarshlider. Ah, good times.

The Norm - Prologue.

He was born on an uneventful day somewhat a few hours after the sun had set; nothing fancy, he did not enter the world at a time where the world was rejoicing nor did he enter at a time where it was mourning. To sum it up, he entered the world much like everybody else, kicking and bawling with no deformities or abnormalities. As soon as he suckled on his mother’s breast, he was carried off by a normal nurse and the medical procedures were then carried out. I might be rushing a bit here but it was most likely that this is what he hated most, the perfect normality of which he was brought into the world. If it was up to him; which almost never happened, he would have entered the world at a time where wars had ended or started, in which the labour was torturous and painful for his mother and at the moment his head slid out, the doctor at hand died of unknown causes. Or maybe miracles happened at that moment. All he wanted was that something special had happened that day, but as I had said earlier, almost nothing went his way.

As he grew up, he was absolutely one hundred percent sure that he was special. He thought he was the only one who had an imaginary friend; which of course he did not know that it was imaginary; he thought that he was special because he was the only one who could see it. That was until he met other children and one especially which had imaginary friends that no man, woman or child could possibly count with normal fingers. After he got over that, he once more thought that he was somewhat chosen when he could answer all the questions asked by many sorts of people. In his childish mind, he had his life; which was a week or two, planned in advance, the second week included plans of running for the election and winning it. Oh yes, at that moment he had it all figured out. Then a random person appeared and burst his bubble, leaving him distraught and confused. Acceptable really, he was after all going to be a leader of a nation. This trend continued and what baffles me the most is why anybody didn’t tell him that he was living the life of a normal child. Maybe it would not have made a difference. Oh well then, the past remains.

He had no siblings. His parents strongly believe in preventing overpopulation of the world and are convinced that they might be the pioneers in the prevention of said problem. He therefore had no elder siblings to bully or make a slave out of him and neither did he have any younger ones to take responsibility on. His parents are non-abusive; another one of their attempt to be pioneers, and never laid a hand on him. One might say he owned a perfect life, and at times, he did believe in it. However, our story tells much more than the life of a normal, slightly spoiled child. It wouldn’t make much of a story now would it? Rhetorical questions put aside for others dumb enough to ponder upon, our story begins. He is now eighteen. He is now very, very depressed.

Feedback needed.