Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Sleepless Nights 27 - You don't belong here.

Yesterday I dreamt that I was walking along some sidewalk and it was snowing. So I took a huff from the cigarette that magically appeared and seriously, I paused and thought where the hell did the cigarette come from. Someone shouts my name from the crowd which also magically appeared. I have no idea why I brightened up, prolly was some friend or some shit. And in the case you don't know, my dreams are in the image of mood photos. Sorry, refer here.

Yes, that, grainy, lack of colours and all that shit. Digression.

So anyways, this friend hollers like a fucktard and I therefore brighten up like a fucktard. Then he runs towards me, like a fucktard, and I await, like a fucktard. Then he stabs me in the gut.

Yeah, didn't expect THAT did you. Neither did I.

So, there I was, frowning (There is no pain in dreams you moron), blood oozing out and my newly exposed intestines freezing. This is what I said to the dot:

'This is getting interesting.'

I was dying and that's what I said. Oh and best part is, my friend was grinning.

But the best part comes next. He/She leans towards me, gives me a hug and right before letting go, he/she whispers into my ear and says;

'You don't belong here, you just don't belong in this world.'

See, that part hit me. I was sure I let happy tears flow; do not the fact that your throat is at a pinpoint distance of being ripped off in the case that you do happen to make fun of this, because I dunno, I thought that here it is, a person who finally understands me. In a way, even if giving me death is a sign of acceptance and I was that appreciative of it...

Then I followed he/she everywhere she went, bleeding non stop telling him/her 'Thank you'. And asking him/her why he/she thinks I don't belong. He/She told me I knew and laughed saying me bottling shit up is okay.

Then Morpheus left. Bitch that he is. When I came to full realization of where I was, I hated it. Same room, same house, same fucking country and same body. Knee fucking malfunctioning, body moving towards a state equal to that of a skeleton... Man it'd be awesome if that fried really stabbed me...

3 comments:

Anila P. said...

*pats your head* There, there, bb.

It prolly is bad that the image I had in the middle there was of a field of sunflowers, with your friend running towards you all happy like, waving a knife.

I'm not even drunk.

athirah ali said...

Woah. Pretty bizarre yet relieving I bet, somebody actually gets it huh :) though it's just this person in a dream. Heyy you dream in black and white is it? Me too! Only 12% of ppl in the world do :)

Zufar Ismail Zeid said...

Ani: Uh sunflowers... I'd appreciate blood and torn limbs... But sunflowers... hmmmm... Oh and thanks for the edit, I hate tenses it's foncusing much... Fothermucker.

Thirah: Yeah, kinda you know, heck dreams can be that twisted. They actually made a study of how many ppl dream in B&W... What's the world coming to... I think its just the byproduct of being obsessive photography wise... Hmmm...