Sleepless Nights 52 - Blueberry Fire / An Unhealthy Obsession With Balconies.

There was once a few years ago (Five? Six?) that a friend of mine tore his muscle. I, of course, didn't know for sure, but meh, it seemed like it. So as we were teasing (Teasing? Laughing at his pain, yes.) him, the head discipline came into the class and he was enraged at us because we were making so much fucking noise. Then he saw my mate and he asked what the fuck is wrong with him.So I told him, it's probably a fucking muscle tear or something. What he replied still makes me fucking laugh.

"There you have it boys and girls. Doctor Zufar!" Class erupts in laughter.

It went bad between us after that, being a delinquent as such. I never did hate him though, he always kept a level head; unlike most others (Who had their vehicles nicely customised after SPM) and I respected him greatly. I haven't seen him since I left school.

Putting aside the fact that he might kick the fucking bucket or something, I intend to go home, meet him and tell him that he was the only fucker that ever got it right. He understood shit, knew how people like us act and he didn't flip the fuck out whenever we did shit. I remembered once when me and a mate was called up to his office because some bastard child ratted us out on smoking, which if I may add, is a blatant accusation. I was not smoking at the time he saw me, and I will forever hold him in low-esteem for what he did. Anyway.

So we were called up, and he began to lay these insane charges upon us. Me, who was not guilty, denied while this moron friend of mine, said these:

Mr. Lim: You smoke in the toilets! Don't lie, I know what you've been doing. Tell me the truth.

Meself: Nope, not me. I was merely washing my hands while he walked in. Call the kid, he can testify that he did not see me holding, smoking or putting out a cigarette at that time when he walked in.

Mate: Yes. I smoke.

Meself: *Stare with a weird facial expression which was a mix of abhorrence, utter shock and suppressed laughter*

Mr. Lim: You do? *Stare with amusement*

Mate: Er... Yeah, I do. *Hastily added* But only at school! *Drowns in stupidity*

Mr. Lim: Well. Here's how it's going to be. You, *Points at me* go back to class, I didn't get anything out of you so you won't get anything. You, *Points at mate* I'm calling your parents to notify them of your future suspension. Okay, go.

I swear, he grinned at the time when he told me I could go away scot-free. Like... Fair play, you know. You didn't admit and I don't know the truth, hence you're innocent in this circumstance. Fucking fuck. Yeah, he was awesome.

*

The world needs to reschedule its global clock or something. People should sleep during the day, goddamit, and wake up in the evening to go to work or school. Days are fucking hot and shit and people are fucking moody and everything is so fucking... Bleh. Make shit start at I don't know, 2 pm? It'll be so fucking awesome. People finish work at around 11, they go back home and relax till 1am, then go out to have some fucking fun or something, fuck that'd be awesome. Sigh. Fucking day...

*

I'm training the cat we currently have in the premise to be as naturally hateful as possible to the human hand. I've already achieved the point where it would react viciously to the hand when it "Attacks", but not yet pass the stage where it would willingly attack the hand when it's passive... A few more days maybe.

Why? Payback. Pure motherfucking payback. It sheds its fur like it's fucking snowing, is lazy as fuck and has a tendency to sit on my backpack like a fucking king. Also, it's a contortionist. I cannot forgive a contortionist cat. I will try my very hardest to ensure that it shall not know human love due to its fucking bitch violent attitude and hence, deprive him of his source of pleasure. I have no beef against cats in general, mind you, only those that gives me a messed up olfactory system and fucking pulicosis.

Motherfucking this: Puli-fucking-cosis

Damn this itch.

*

Facebook has a new layout and while I tend to not care about these changes, I am quite irritated that everybody goes on and on about how much they hate it et cetera. If you hate it, leave. Stop bitching about facebook while you are ON facebook you god damned ingrate. Anyway.

There's the thing where they suggest shit to you and while I'm indifferent to it, I saw something that catches my eye just now. There's this girl.

Her name: Chinta. I fuck not with your jolly brain, her name is Chinta. Holy mother of electricity. Am I the only one who is amused to no end about this. That's probably the awesomest fucking name you could give to a person and it truly is a shame that I could not.

Her friends: 82. Here I have to take time to respect that. 82 friends... On facebook. How exactly is that even possible... Maybe she has a secret account somewhere... Or maybe she cares not for these pesky cretins called acquaintances and disposes of them... Maybe she's awesomely cold hearted. Maybe she's superbly depressed and has no self confidence. Maybe she's shy. Maybe she's a ninja. I must learn more. Damn ye, Chinta.

*

Can we just pretend it didn't happen? I mean... We didn't do much did we? Can we just like take it as a weirdly satisfying dream and just move on already? Sigh, of course we couldn't. Sigh, I've never been good at this.

*

Time.

This and That and This.

I had a really fucked up dream yesterday (Yesterday? Two days ago? I can't tell any more.). It's one of those dreams where you dream in a dream, basically, in your dream, you're sleeping and you're dreaming. I have no idea if that made sense.

Anyway, I woke up from the dream to find my jaw hurting, no, more like a mega suction force acting on the buccal cavity itself, like being kissed by a god damned vacuum cleaner powered by nuclear fission. Of course, I woke the fuck up, and then... How do I put this in terms one could understand... All my teeth tore off their respective sockets and fell into my cupped palms, all bloodied among specks of white.

While this in itself is not quite horrific, I have to point out that my mind works in quite a weird way when it comes to pain perception. See, I can imagine pain.

Apparently, that's what google understands by the term 'Imagine pain'.

For example, if I imagine being cut on the finger, I could literally feel the pain on said finger. Of course, it pales in comparison to what I would actually feel if I had been cut physically, but the point still stands. So, with this in mind, I actually felt every single one of my tooth being ripped out. That was what made it insanely fucked up.

So with my teeth in my palms, I walked out - From a room exactly like the one I was sleeping in, hence the increase in panic - and then I saw a girl, which I vaguely remember - And fancy, if I may say so myself - and she was in the same condition of horror because it had happened to her as well. So there we were, both of us grimacing from the pain and horror, teeth in our hands, blood flowing from our mouth. For some reason, it had quite a funny side to it, so both of us laughed - A quite horrific laugh, you know, with all the gums exposed and the blood and the fucking lack of teeth - and we exchanged teeth. She was beautiful. By that time, I was pretty sure it was a fucking dream so the sense of general fucked-upness had left me entirely.

Then I woke up, teeth still intact. And went back to sleep.

*

I have a sudden urge nowadays to murder people who have a feeling of general discontent towards old people. Sure, I too occasionally get the feeling of utter boredom when they tell a story that you've heard a million times before but I don't see that small problem being a reason to hate them. Look at what, say, an eighty year old person has gone through. He has lost his wife, most of his friends, his family, occasionally his child. He has lost the vigour of youth, his bones ache, he can't even walk up a hill without feeling out of breath. He has tasted most of life's pleasures, and now is bored, or he has not tasted it as much as he wants it but conditions do not permit him to go ahead.

Honestly, am I the only one who could sympathise with that sort of condition? Where you want to do something but you just cannot because the physical limitations has completely overpowered you. It's like having the chance of fucking the only person ever that you urgently need to fuck but you can't because there's a metal door that you cannot under any circumstances break through. You know she's on the other side of the door, naked, wet and doused in fucking honey and chocolate and - Good heavens! - she's calling out to you in that sexy voice of hers.

Do you get the point there?

ONLY YOU CAN POP THE CHOCOLATE CHERRY! ONLY YOU!

*

I actually believe right now that we are the only people who understands chaos in it's purest form. I mean yeah, you'd argue that those in Palestine or those in Somalia are the ones who truly understands it but I respectfully disagree. War is not the pure form of chaos, it's a temporary spike which will in time - Depends on how long one is willing to wait - subside.

The purest form of chaos is quite simply, the state of utter disorganisation. It's the point where nobody is willing to take the initiative to repair the damage, where everybody decides that they are content with the everyday fuckupperry of their lives' condition. And that's Egypt for you.

I thought of finding a picture to accompany my statement. I failed. Here's colours instead.

*

I miss the UK. No, come to think of it, I miss the whole travelling part, I don't think it really matters where I go. Now it's back to the fucking routine life of getting up late, having a meal a day and sleeping late.

*

I realise how much I fucking hate cats nowadays. Sure, it's nice to photograph it, it's nice to tease the fuck out of it, but having a cat generally is a fucking bane. Their fur... It's everywhere, and I shit you not on the everywhere part. It's got on my fucking camera strap which, I believe, if left any longer, would resemble a goddamned fur scarf. It gets into my nose, it gets into my eyes, it gets fucking everywhere. And with cats, here comes fleas, motherfucking fleas which coincidentally, I'm fucking allergic to and now my goddamned body is ridden with these fucking welts that itches like fuck if I don't scratch it and hurts if I do.

The harbinger of motherfucking evil itch.

Sleepless Nights 51 - Love Story, Killed.

I had a fuck good long bath just now, like for a god damned hour. There's something positively inspirational about hot water, it just fucking makes my day. At the time where I was bathing, I was chewing gum and at the same time, smoking. It brought back a lot of memories.

Google fails me yet again, henceforth, have a cat.

It's quite a fucking feat; what your mind does. It suppresses these things that you actually believe did not affect you and then 'Bam' you're doing something utterly unrelated - Like taking a bath - and it comes back to you. And while it still does not affect you, you tend to wonder why the fuck is it back.

'It's like blowing a bubble; same concept, only that this time, you make the bubble in your mouth.'
'That doesn't really make sense.'
'Of course it does. Why'd you want to be like everybody else when you can be something far more superior.'
'Different, maybe. I don't think superior fits.'
'Whatever, just try it.' *Hands two pieces of mint gum*
'You do realise I have no fucking idea how to do this?'
'Just chew on it first, for a start. Till you get the bubble-blowing-consistency.'
'Remind me again why I'm humouring you?'
'Because you're infatuated with me, and I, you. Well, maybe not infatuated, but,' *Hums* 'Fits. Yeah. We fit.'
*Laughs* 'Yeah, alright. Consistency achieved. What now?'
*Loud popping noise. People stare.* 'Now you do that.'
'What? What the fuck did you do? Holy fuck.' *Utterly amused*
*Cocky smile* 'See why I'm more awesome that you? Just do the exact reverse as you would blowing a bubble.'
*Tries. Accidentally projected gum out of mouth and onto table instead.*
*She laughs hysterically. Hands over more gum* 'Again. We're not leaving till you get to do it.'
*Whines.*
*Ruffles hair.* 'You have to place the gum in front of your teeth. In between your lips and teeth, you get me?'
*Tries. Nods, can't talk.*
'Okay, now you suck on it.'
*Does as told. Nothing happens.* 'I think I'm too good-mannered for something like this. This... Seems obscene.'
*Narrows eyes.* 'Stop making excuses, you cretin. Try it again.'
*Grimaces at the coldness. Tries again. A pathetic pop is achieved.*
*Exclaims.* 'See! That's a start. Now just do it over and over again until you can...' *Another loud popping sound. More stares.*
*Laughs, in a state of joy.* 'Holy fuck! I did it! Holy fuck muffin!'
*Joins in laughter. Orders coffee, extra strong for him.*

***

Also, here I must force this down your throats. Saishuuheiki Kanojo (SaiKano) is the most fuck awesome tear fucking jerker of a manga out there. It's awesomeness is utterly overwhelming, mainly due to how fucking shitty and simple the drawings are. Fuck me on a jack hammer kind of awesome.

Fuck. This is the problem with Egypt. When your fucking life is this dull, the motherfucking memories tend to gain some sort of fucking sentience and its sole aim: Gunning you the fuck down.

Here's to a whole new year of asshole pulverisation.

I'm back.

God damn it, I'm back.

Plunged right into chaos and disorganisation.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.