Random Questions 3

1. Favourite flower?

Jasmines. Definitely. It reminds me of home and the important women in my life. Also, Jasmine tea is the best fucking tea in existence, more so than chrysanthemum.

You know. Just in case you're daft enough not to know what Jasmines are.

2. Best fictional character you're not attracted to?

Hm. That's a tough one.

I'll have to go with Morpheus from Neil Gaiman's Sandman. A bit relatable if I dare say so myself.

3. Opinion(s) on cross-dressing - as a general idea, and in relation to yourself.

Well, cross dressing is a bit watered down nowadays, is it not? What I mean is that there no longer exists a definite line separating the masculine and the feminine. Ten years ago, it'd be a bloody riot to see a guy wearing eyeliner but nowadays, under the term fashion; it's all acceptable.

The real cross-dressers though, the ones who really go all the way donning a frock and stilettos, for some reason they have my respect. I'm talking about the ones who're out there in public, ignorant of all the jests being made behind their backs, just happy to be who they are. There's a a lot of beauty in the simple act of accepting oneself regardless and people are blind enough to not realise it.

I'm not going to lie though, sometimes it creeps me out. Accidental excursions into Chow Kit in the dark of night really took a toll on my mind but so long as they know where to keep their hands, it's all good. The humanity of it all stays the same no matter what mask we choose to wear.

In relation to myself. I don't know, really. I've never looked at a dress and thought 'I'd look fucking fabulous in that' so I can't really say. Women in men's clothing though, that shit is fucking God-tier awesome.

I don't have a relevant picture.

4. Your favourite tooth.

This question diverted my attention to a more important issue. What are teeth called. Specifically.

There's molars and incisors. Is that it? The existence of so many individual teeth put to utter disregard, each of their personalities brushed off, all of them forced to bow down to one of two names... What if there was one tooth that was made for greatness? Would its destiny be robbed simply because it cannot shine?

This is utter madness! Do the right thing my fellow readers! Rally your teeth and teach them the true meaning of existence! This ignorance must stop!

But in all seriousness... I'll have to go with my... Fuck. What's it called?

My left upper canine. Wait. So there is a name for that.

5. Stream of consciousness - type whatever comes to mind for the next minute

I remembered that he used to take us for Friday prayers and then buy us some candy afterwards. Twenty one years of connection and that is the only thing that I remember about him.

I never really looked at him as a grandfather, to be honest. I saw him as an old man that stroke fear into us kids and that was that. I never longed for his presence, I never felt the need to see him, I never had a bond. He was my mother's father and I accept that fact. Did I respect him? In some aspect, yes. I respected him for teaching his children about the importance of working bloody hard to get ahead and that reflected in the paramount success of most of them. From rags to riches.

When I heard that he passed away, I expected to have this moment where I reminisce about all the good times but being the realistic cunt that I am, it did not come and I did not try. I know that our bond is that of blood and that's it. I wasn't saddened at all. There isn't anything to be sad about.

6. What do you like about your face?

This is a lure to force me to show my vain side but I'll bite. I suppose I could say that I like everything about it. Or perhaps I should say that I'm simply content with it and leave everybody face-palming at the obvious show of faux humility.

Fuck it. I like my eyes.

7. Do you believe in love? If it exists at all.

Well, it exists. And if it exists, I'll be a fool if I don't believe in it.

But the question runs deeper, I think. I believe in love but more so in the extremely varied expression of it. A parent's love differs so much from one another; one might love their kids and force them to go through a life full of hardship, another might opt for them to not lift a finger. A spouse's love might end up with him/her leaving the other or not letting the other go at any cost.

A person's love might force him to leave his partner of four years suddenly because there might be a slightest bit of chance that he knows that staying will only make it worse. Hey. You told me to be straight-forward.

Above it all, I believe in this chemical reaction in the brain that stretches out astronomically. The emotion doesn't matter. The expression does.

8. Would you like larger appendage?

Strangely; no. Of course, there'll be people who would wave this off as a clever ruse to make myself seem confident. I can't exactly deny this but no, I would not want a larger appendage. Such a polite way of saying it.

Coupled with an extensive knowledge of the human anatomy and satisfactory experience in the boudoir, no. I'm pretty happy with what I've been bestowed with, really.

9. How hot is [Name withheld for anonymity]?

Sigh. Of all the things that could be asked... Of all the things that could be gained... You ask me this...

Right.

Physically; a pleasant face, not too thin and not too heavy either, quite a good balance. Plus the fact that you're taller than most (I might be wrong, it's been awhile since I've seen you in reality), you carve a good figure. Your hair seems nice. I actually don't know what I'm doing.

Pretty fun to talk to, there isn't actually a limit and quite knowledgeable. Your ability to change from one end of the spectrum to the other is satisfactory, sense of humour is better than most but could be darker. And. I don't know. We used to be pretty close, or was that just me?

So; on a demented scale of 1-10, you'd bag a 7. In other words;

10. If you weren't a Muslim; what religion would you choose and why?

Hm. That's a good one.

I don't know, to be honest. I wouldn't pick a religion. That's it. I'll probably be an agnostic theist.

Say I suddenly find a need to be affiliated with a belief. If we take a look at the Abrahamic religions; there's a fuckload of conflicts in the religion itself. Christianity is divided into quite a lot of factions. Which do I choose? And having institutions like the Westboro Baptist Church doesn't help either. Same thing with Islam. The extremists really fuck shit up and more so when they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. Judaism has Zionism which I'm pretty sure I don't agree with. See, if I was free to choose, the thing that would really bum me out are extremists.

Going out of Abrahamic religions, there's Hinduism. Too many Gods for my liking, no matter how awesome the stories are. Buddhism is more of a lifestyle and it's too zen and peaceful for my liking. Taoism is kind of complicated. Shintoism is another different story.

Rather than actually fussing over something, I'll just live as a person. I'm open to faults, I can err but sometimes, I hope, being a person means we are open to sudden acts of great humanitarianism.

I don't know, woman. I think that's what God wants. Be a good person. Don't be an utter cock-juggling lightning wanker.

11. Would you consider feigning stupidity and being mundane to integrate yourself with a group of people and at what point have you or will you do such a thing?

I think we feign stupidity all the time. Everybody does it. It's something that is deemed acceptable by society. Don't tell the guy he's stupid for acting that way, even if he is. Just pretend you don't know the answer to that question so that that friend of yours will feel better. Don't be 'excessively' happy about your excellent results because some people did worse than you. Make the guy feel better about himself, will you. Don't be such a mean bastard. I know you're smart and all but have some consideration.

We're forced to pretend that we're stupid as soon as we step into school. If you're smart and you embrace it; you get bullied. You get used. You get called names. Teacher's pet, smart-ass, giga nerd and such. When we graduate and go to college, it's already ingrained into the very fabric of our conscience. I shouldn't answer that question even if I know the answer. I should keep a low profile. Holy shit, my results are awesome! Wait, I shouldn't act ecstatic even if I worked my ass off for this. Sound familiar?

We're fooled into believing that this is humility. It is not. Being humble doesn't mean you can't feel good about your achievements. Being humble means you accept that you did well but you don't undermine others.

All this for what? Acceptance? Being part of the pack? Well, fuck that. It's a vicious, self-esteem breaking act. I've done it. And it sucked balls. Will I do it again? Perhaps but I will do it feeling like an utter bastard. Or when it'll profit me greatly.

12. Have you ever betrayed someone who considered you trustworthy, or alternatively betrayed something you believed in and under what conditions do you feel such a deed is justified?

Betrayed someone... I did actually. Once but it wasn't something that resulted in a major catastrophe. It was in high school and to be honest, I don't even remember the small details. All I know is that there was a bit of guy talk and since I was(am) still new to the whole social protocol thing, I told some other girl. Through some sort of ancient high school magic, the girl was actually the subject that was talked about, making it extremely awkward and fucked up on my part. Reason: Acceptance, perhaps.

I'm not sure if that's a betrayal. Of trust, maybe. Thinking about it, we were in high school. What the fuck is trust in between children.

But no, I guess, not to people who consider me trustworthy. If those people even exist. Betrayal of something I believed in? Loads.

I used to have three simple principles. Don't smoke, don't do drugs and don't drink. As you surely know, all of that have been tied up, bagged and kicked into the nearest incinerator.

On the matter whether it's justified or not... I'm not sure. If I start anew, I'll probably spiral down the same road. It taught me a lot, that much is true. In fact, I think it was necessary. I didn't have any life changing moments when I did all this but I certainly wouldn't go through some things if I didn't. 

13. You wake up,in your own room,with no recollection of what you've done for the past 12 years or so. All you have to go with is the shit in your room and the people in your house. Using just what you see and hear, how would you piece together an entire life and the catch is, you don't want anyone to know that you're amnesiac and shit, so you can't ask anyone what the fuck's going on.

Awesome. AWESOME.

So I wake up. I look around to the room. I see that it's in a state of perpetual mess, there's a plate with remnants of instant noodles on the table. There're junk food wrappers and cigarettes. A mug with what seems to be leftover coffee. I see that my clothes aren't really expensive and connecting the dots; I would say that I'm not a rich kid.

Getting up from bed, I trip over a mountain of books. Upon further investigation, I see that they're medical books and the large amount would point to the fact that I'm a medical student/personnel. I see a suitcase nearby and opening it, I see clothes and an assortment of books which shows that I'm not from the area and that I'm a voracious reader. I see pouches of tobacco and rolling paper and this will alarm me a little. AM I A FUCKING HIPSTER? But upon further investigation, I see my jeans aren't the ball crushing type favoured by hipsters so I'm safe. Rummaging the pockets of my jeans, I find a phone (Date and time) and a wallet. I open the wallet and search the contents. I first find an intrauterine contraceptive device. This enforces the fact that I'm a medical student/personnel but it also raises concern to why I have an IUCD in my wallet. A fetish perhaps. There's a small sum of money, a bank card and identification. From this I know who I am, how old I am and how dastardly good looking I am. Student cards show that I'm a fifth year medical student.

I see a camera nearby and looking through the pictures, I see chaos and destruction, pointing to the fact that I might be in a danger zone. I see a guitar. That makes me feel awesome. I walk to the mirror and inspect my face for any damage. I see that I have a long beard. It makes me feel more awesome. I see a portrait of Audrey Hepburn beside the mirror and I'm convinced that she's my paramour (Until proven otherwise). I see a pile of used clothes heaped in a corner. I need to do my fucking laundry.

It's cold. I look around to see any air-conditioning system but there isn't any, so I attribute it to the weather which means I'm in a place whe- Wait a second. I take out my wallet again and look at my student card. Oh. Egypt. How did I miss that.

I walk out of my room to see a gym set in the living room. Looking at my toothpick sized arms, I come to the conclusion that I don't use it. I go to the first room and see strange people who are oblivious to my existence. So I move on. The next room is locked. I go to the last room and sit with a guy that looks anaemic, more like a fucking vampire. I sat on his bed and he non-chalantly told me that he hasn't seen my brother for a long time. So I have a brother.

I go back to my room confused. So; I'm a fifth year medical student in Egypt who might or might not have an IUCD fetish, Audrey Hepburn is my beloved, I play the guitar, read a lot and I have a brother. And I like coffee and I smoke. Not bad, eh.

14. Seriously, what colour did you imagine Smaug to be?

I imagined it to be a blazing hue of gold and his belly is spotted with sapphires. Eyes are black. Breathes blue fire.

15. Your favourite underwear?

I have a pair of boxers that has a repetitive pattern of toy cars.

16. Skittlefarts?

Depends. If there's nargles on the side then maybe. Essence of double monsters is a must.

17. Which president is the worst?

This one:

18. Batman or Spiderman?

BATMAN! Spiderman can go weep in his web of inadequacy while Batman remains the undisputed badass.