I'm not saying that this Summer was the best ever but this Summer was the best ever. Fucking hell, I actually utilised the time to fucking do stuff and it was awesome. Meet tonnes of people and travelled a lot and drove a lot and sweet God in heaven it was magnificent.
Also, I've been abandoning this page and I must say, I'm sorry love. I had a lot of things to do.
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So now that I'm back in God's idea of a mini hell on earth, I find myself confused. I don't miss home that much, if that's even possible. For some reason, I'm glad to be back and fuck me for saying that. Being home for the past one and a half months was tiring, in a good way and it's just nice to be able to go back to the agonising routine of classes and exams.
Denial? Yeah. Denial.
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Our hearts are naturally fickle. It's up to our minds to steer it in the right direction.
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In a way, I have grown a new shell. A shell that grabs hold of my thoughts and modifies it slightly before my vocal chords get to work.
Let's take for an example, the whole lovers sulking affair. See before this, I used to relish the oppurtunity for the other party to sulk simply because it makes it that much easier to grind them into the asphalt and set fire to their emotions. Perhaps it's because they are wired in a way that they expect to be consoled and the pain is magnified when I defy their belief.
Nowadays though, this figurative shell has prevented me to do that. I don't know whether it's a good thing or not. Rather than going into my usual rant about how so and so person is a worthless bag of shit, I now find myself explaining my actions/words which brought about the whole sulking episode.
It's horrible. It really is. I miss the times when I could just lash out and wound the other party's self-worth at little or no consequence. Now it's all 'Calm down, let's talk in a civilised manner'.
What the fuck am I talk about, even?
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Well. It's back to shitty food, shitty people and shitty living conditions. A cause for celebration indeed.
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