I accidentally tripped and fell into the potentially brain-cell killing side of the internet. I'm not sure if it was the sleep-deprivation that magnified the severity of the blow but holy fucking cuntnuggetry....
Fuck, I think I'm still stuck in here.
If I were to enumerate every single site, image and god knows what else I saw, it would be catastrophic and my cavernous sinus might explode so I'll just go ahead and focus on one thing.
I actually like cosplay. It's a concept which I think really brings out the creative drive in otherwise dull and hateful people and hell man, some of the costumes are really fucking awesome.
So I was browsing through Imgur and this lady posted a picture of her in a costume of a character I have no knowledge of. She looked... Hmm, there is no other way of saying this but she looked amazing enough that I'd sacrifice a kidney, half of my liver and maybe hypothalamic function to have dinner with her. In the costume. It's awesome cause most of these people actually make all that fancy shit from scratch.
So anyway, one of the comments linked her profile on some site with more pictures of her in cosply so I thought why the fucking hell not. Unaware of the brain cell torture I was about to go through, I, as naive little riding hood would have done, went straight on and clicked on the link.
It actually was safe. I was mentally prepared to be barraged by images of interlocking dicks or gaping wide assholes but it was safe. A few more pictures of her in the same costume in different poses and that was it.
So I decided that well, I'm already on a site dedicated to serving images of potential hotties in revealing costumes, why not just browse for awhile. Which is when things got a little out of hand. And by little I meant Ozzy biting a bat's head off.
It was when I saw a few really, really fucked up cosplayers that I decided that okay, enough is enough, my good sir, let us now retire and have a cup of coffee. By the grace of God my hand slipped and I clicked something. The screen loaded and due to my highly erratic internet connection, it took a little longer but enough for me to actually close the aforementioned tab and move on. But no, the lust for more information in me awoke, I was intrigued, I let it load and now, I am actively poisoning myself in hopes that the desire for information gets killed.
You see, a concept is likened to a double edged sword. In itself, it's not brilliant, not is it utterly despicable. When placed in the hands of an amazing swordsman, for instance, that sword would then attain a legendary title but on the other hand, if a fool wields it, it'd just be called a fucked up sword. It's the same thing with cosplay.
So that photo came up and in a strange mixture of utterly-terrified and laughing-my-balls-off act, I managed to click on more links until eventually I came across this:
And I felt completely numb, I was completely desensitized, the picture could only muster a weak 'Meh' from my lips. That's the thing with adaptation. If you gain it through massive surges of fucked up shit, you'll end up being okay but that desire for more knowledge I was talking about earlier? It's back. With a fucking vengeance.
I breezed through fucked up links, one of them taking me to the notorious 2 girls 1 cup video and just when I thought that yes! This would be my gateway out of this hell, I did not find my bile rising. I simply watched the whole video and to be honest, I was medically and philosophically intrigued. Which part of the brain is affected and what is the mechanism which drove these coprophiles to actually go ahead and do that act, at which point my philosophical self cut in and asked why is society against the decision of two humans doing what they wanted? They surely must know the risks, they seem to quite frankly enjoy it and if anything goes wrong, they would know that hell, maybe having a gourmet lunch consisting of nothing other than shit must have had something to do with it. Disgust was no longer present. Only an abyss was left to devour everything that fell in.
After awhile, I could literally feel my brain overheating; I had grey matter oozing out of my lacrimal glands and the disturbance condensed to form a star in my eyeball, incinerating it in the process.
Then I ran and slammed my head into a wall, hoping that the images would be destroyed by a little bit of brain damage. It did not. It still lurks in my mind, awaiting the right time to pounce.
*
I used to join these writing competitions at school and for some reason, I'd win a few. I honestly believe that it's because my school was filled with the teenagers that had no ambition and drive so usually there'd just be a few of us who join the damned thing. I digress. The gifts are always generic, it's either some fucking certificate or a pencilbox or a silk thong. There was this once where I won the thing and rather than do a big ceremony over it, my teacher just told me to go the the teacher's room and she'll give me something.
*At this point, you just realised that this is how the first pornography scene acts out. You're welcome.*
So I went and met her and I think that to this day, I have never actually received a gift more important than that very one. It was a pen. Probably a cheap ass one wrapped in nice looking cheap ass wrapping paper but it meant a fuckload to me. She told me that I could go places if I kept treading on that path. She told me not to stop writing and I guess I didn't. Being this angst ridden teenager back then though, ah fuck, being a delinquent meant that I disregarded everything she said. It was like I needed to do that to prove that I'm a fucking adult (Fucking adult. Ah-ha.) and I can take care of myself. So I gave a general fuck you very much for no reason and proceeded to become a fuck up. My grades plummeted but it was fun, if I were to go back in time and relived that shit, knowing that I could achieve so much more, I'm not sure if I would, really.
Back to the story though, fast forward earlier this year, this same teacher added me on facebook (She's what, a hundred?) and while I was doubtful (Her name was something I did not know of and I was sceptical to whether it really was her or not), I went ahead and approved her. I regretted my decision almost immediately because she wanted to facebook video chat, which was creepy, but technology saved the day when the whole thing crashed and burned. So in the end, we had a long chat as adults (Heh. Adults. LiveJasmine?) and then she said this:
"You were my best student to date."
Which really made me question her sanity. I was far from being a fucking student and she actually said that I was the best? What sort of mockery is this? I told her exactly that, in a more polite and sugar coated way and she just laughed. Well, she typed the words.
"As a veteran teacher, I've gone through hundreds of students worse than you. Some of these are actually excellent students, straight As all around. Some are really just thugs la, people who don't really care about the future. I know that you don't pay attention in class or the fact that you'd just walk out and go have a smoke at the tangki air up there. All the teachers know. We also know that you're involved in all the gang fights all. One of the teachers ah, that time wanted to suspend you and aih, I was sure the others would agree but then most of the teachers said no. So I asked them why and you know what they told me? They said that even when you ponteng their classes or do mingle with all the other bad kids, when you sat down and actually did their work, nobody can pull you away. Same goes with me, when I ask the class to write an essay, everybody will do it within 30 minutes and submit theirs, 360 words. You'd go on to write a thousand words or more and spend the whole period writing it. That shows that you have a lot of passion in you and as teachers, we see that as something we'd like to preserve. There are good students and bad students, but the ones that usually make it and are happy are the ones with passion."
That was easily one of the greatest things anyone had ever said to me, not that there's many of them. But fuck man, it made me reconsider a few things. What if I had really been a goody-goody student and stayed in class and did all that shit? Fuck it, won't work.
*
Eargasm of the day: Fucking heartbreaking.
If I were to enumerate every single site, image and god knows what else I saw, it would be catastrophic and my cavernous sinus might explode so I'll just go ahead and focus on one thing.
I actually like cosplay. It's a concept which I think really brings out the creative drive in otherwise dull and hateful people and hell man, some of the costumes are really fucking awesome.
 |
| Exhibit motherfucking A |
So anyway, one of the comments linked her profile on some site with more pictures of her in cosply so I thought why the fucking hell not. Unaware of the brain cell torture I was about to go through, I, as naive little riding hood would have done, went straight on and clicked on the link.
It actually was safe. I was mentally prepared to be barraged by images of interlocking dicks or gaping wide assholes but it was safe. A few more pictures of her in the same costume in different poses and that was it.
 |
| I forgot but this is her. |
It was when I saw a few really, really fucked up cosplayers that I decided that okay, enough is enough, my good sir, let us now retire and have a cup of coffee. By the grace of God my hand slipped and I clicked something. The screen loaded and due to my highly erratic internet connection, it took a little longer but enough for me to actually close the aforementioned tab and move on. But no, the lust for more information in me awoke, I was intrigued, I let it load and now, I am actively poisoning myself in hopes that the desire for information gets killed.
You see, a concept is likened to a double edged sword. In itself, it's not brilliant, not is it utterly despicable. When placed in the hands of an amazing swordsman, for instance, that sword would then attain a legendary title but on the other hand, if a fool wields it, it'd just be called a fucked up sword. It's the same thing with cosplay.
| This is what I mean. |
And I felt completely numb, I was completely desensitized, the picture could only muster a weak 'Meh' from my lips. That's the thing with adaptation. If you gain it through massive surges of fucked up shit, you'll end up being okay but that desire for more knowledge I was talking about earlier? It's back. With a fucking vengeance.
I breezed through fucked up links, one of them taking me to the notorious 2 girls 1 cup video and just when I thought that yes! This would be my gateway out of this hell, I did not find my bile rising. I simply watched the whole video and to be honest, I was medically and philosophically intrigued. Which part of the brain is affected and what is the mechanism which drove these coprophiles to actually go ahead and do that act, at which point my philosophical self cut in and asked why is society against the decision of two humans doing what they wanted? They surely must know the risks, they seem to quite frankly enjoy it and if anything goes wrong, they would know that hell, maybe having a gourmet lunch consisting of nothing other than shit must have had something to do with it. Disgust was no longer present. Only an abyss was left to devour everything that fell in.
After awhile, I could literally feel my brain overheating; I had grey matter oozing out of my lacrimal glands and the disturbance condensed to form a star in my eyeball, incinerating it in the process.
Then I ran and slammed my head into a wall, hoping that the images would be destroyed by a little bit of brain damage. It did not. It still lurks in my mind, awaiting the right time to pounce.
*
I used to join these writing competitions at school and for some reason, I'd win a few. I honestly believe that it's because my school was filled with the teenagers that had no ambition and drive so usually there'd just be a few of us who join the damned thing. I digress. The gifts are always generic, it's either some fucking certificate or a pencilbox or a silk thong. There was this once where I won the thing and rather than do a big ceremony over it, my teacher just told me to go the the teacher's room and she'll give me something.
*At this point, you just realised that this is how the first pornography scene acts out. You're welcome.*
Back to the story though, fast forward earlier this year, this same teacher added me on facebook (She's what, a hundred?) and while I was doubtful (Her name was something I did not know of and I was sceptical to whether it really was her or not), I went ahead and approved her. I regretted my decision almost immediately because she wanted to facebook video chat, which was creepy, but technology saved the day when the whole thing crashed and burned. So in the end, we had a long chat as adults (Heh. Adults. LiveJasmine?) and then she said this:
"You were my best student to date."
Which really made me question her sanity. I was far from being a fucking student and she actually said that I was the best? What sort of mockery is this? I told her exactly that, in a more polite and sugar coated way and she just laughed. Well, she typed the words.
"As a veteran teacher, I've gone through hundreds of students worse than you. Some of these are actually excellent students, straight As all around. Some are really just thugs la, people who don't really care about the future. I know that you don't pay attention in class or the fact that you'd just walk out and go have a smoke at the tangki air up there. All the teachers know. We also know that you're involved in all the gang fights all. One of the teachers ah, that time wanted to suspend you and aih, I was sure the others would agree but then most of the teachers said no. So I asked them why and you know what they told me? They said that even when you ponteng their classes or do mingle with all the other bad kids, when you sat down and actually did their work, nobody can pull you away. Same goes with me, when I ask the class to write an essay, everybody will do it within 30 minutes and submit theirs, 360 words. You'd go on to write a thousand words or more and spend the whole period writing it. That shows that you have a lot of passion in you and as teachers, we see that as something we'd like to preserve. There are good students and bad students, but the ones that usually make it and are happy are the ones with passion."
That was easily one of the greatest things anyone had ever said to me, not that there's many of them. But fuck man, it made me reconsider a few things. What if I had really been a goody-goody student and stayed in class and did all that shit? Fuck it, won't work.
*
Eargasm of the day: Fucking heartbreaking.
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