Sunday, December 29, 2013

Hey!




Right. That song is now permanently stuck in my head. By Odin that shit is catchy as fuck.

Moving on. I have exams in a few days and I have no idea what to study. Thank the Maker (Also played Dragon Age II three times over) there're only Nephrology cases for this so my chances of fucking up is... lessened by a fraction. Maybe. Ah well.

I got this certificate of participation for some fucking endoscope workshop and on it is written:


And that whole 'Doctor Zufar' shit disturbed the ever living fuck out of me. Of course, I know that it's a mistake (And convenience) but maaaaaaaaaan... I don't like having titles that I don't deserve. I think that even when I am a certified Doctor, that shit is going to bother me.

Internal Medicine is coming to a close. Two more weeks and that's it, the biggest component in Medicine apart from Surgery, done. I still feel like a fourth year student and now I'm going to be done with Internal Medicine. By Andraste's dimpled ass.

Pictured: Andraste. Whether her ass is dimpled or not remains a mystery.
A friend asked me about the novel and I told him that it's still underway. It's not a total lie, I guess but I couldn't bring myself to tell him that it's a project in stasis. Why is that? I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if I'm even capable of being a writer. There's more to it than talent, definitely and I constantly feel like I'm fucking wasting it. Like everything else.

On a brighter note, people cherry pick in every aspect. Another friend talked to me and she remarked 'You wouldn't have a problem with this coming OSCE, obviously' which struck me as very strange considering I struggle most of the time. Asking her to elaborate she said that a few other people told her that I was a bright fellow. I'm not saying that I have the mental capacity of a flaming dustbin but to call me bright is a bit... Pushing it. The reason why the others refer to me as smart is simply because they choose to take the uncommon moments where I actually can put my brain to use. They don't see the near mental meltdowns I have when studying and come to think, they've never really seen me play chess.

On that note, I absolutely fucking suck at Chess. So much to the point where it's depressing. I downloaded it on my phone and I nearly punched the screen because I'm convinced that the fucking AI is cheating. Through some magical way. I used to be... Okay in school, I mean I can play and have a 50:50 chance of winning but now, I feel like a kid with Down's syndrome trying to fucking drive a car with my tongue. And being frustrated that I can't do it.

As Merrill would say; 'By the Dread Wolf!'

2 comments:

Hanis. said...

This post's title seemed cheerful. Made me reread the name of the blog on my dashboard.

Writing seems to need more than talent. Which you have. It just .. needs determination maybe? Once I figure out what I myself lack, I'll tell you.

Good luck with your finals. I kinda miss mine.

Zufar Ismail Zeid said...

Missing finals. Oh, you joker, you.

Time and willpower, I think, both of which I severely have a lack of. God knows how that'll work out.

You say it like my blog is a very depressing place... Oh, wait. That makes sense.