Sunday, November 15, 2009

Have I told you lately?

Have I told you lately?
That the glare and the malice,
The flare of abhorrence,
In your deep dark eyes
Makes me smile?

The way you grit your teeth,
As you fight and squirm,
With the spirit of a thousand swords,
Have I told you
That it leaves me sleepless?

With words that stab deep,
And that freezing aura,
You leave me breathless,
My morphine,
Have I told you?

You linger there,
In the notes of mournful instrumentals,
In the wails of widows and orphans,
In the air of funerals and plagues,
Unrivalled and unchallenged you stand.

My dark Queen,
Have I told you lately?

A/N: ... Yes, I stole the title. So what? Anyway, you know the drill, feedback needed. I'm no longer going to beg for it.

9 comments:

Farha Ghouse said...

"In the notes of mournful instrumentals"

i love this part, two thumbs up!

beautifully written, dude.

aisyah hassan said...

deep. while reading it somehow i could imagine how she would look like.

Anila P. said...

Huh. When you do start writing again, dear, you do it really well. Loved it. No complaints for this one, I think.

Zufar Ismail Zeid said...

Farha: Again, thanks! XD
Aisyah: Hahaha I failed. It's as if she's an entity too astounding in proportions that my brain fails to comprehend... She's there, yes, true but she isn't really there. What the fuck.
Ani: *Wipes tears with sleeves* Thats the nicest thing you said s=to me... Fufufu.. Ehem. Ah well, I have my moments and to be complimented by you is an honour. Truly.

aisyah hassan said...

whoa.. too astounding an entity eh? so these ideas just come to u as u go or something? very nice. haha

anwar azhari said...

really great.
dunnoe much to say.
golden thumbs up..!

Anila P. said...

Haha, retard. =3
Anyways, one teeny tiny comment, prolly not much. Third stanza you could've put a fullstop after 'breathless', and put 'My morphine...' as a new stanza. But meh.

That's my favourite part too. My morphine. =B

Zufar Ismail Zeid said...

Tepet: Thanks mate.
Ani: But you know, I meant to do it like the poet goes somewhat like:WithwordsthatstabdeepAndthatfreezingauraYouleaveme.........
Breathless...

Yeah, some shit like that... If it makes sense...

diemarysues said...

Then;

With words that stab deep,
And that freezing aura,
You leave me

breathless.

My morphine,
Have I told you?


How about that?