Sleepless Night's 30 - A lecture on honesty.

Well she's walking through the clouds
With a circus mind that's running round
Butterflies and zebras
And moonbeams and fairy tales
That's all she ever thinks about
Riding with the wind.

When I'm sad, she comes to me
With a thousand smiles, she gives to me free
It's alright she says it's alright
Take anything you want from me,
Anything.

Fly on little wing,
Yeah yeah, yeah, little wing

Honestly, how can you not see the beauty in that song?

Anyway, there's been this thing going on, something about me being too 'brutally honest' and whatnot. Which is funny really, because I don't remember, not even once, that ever happening.

Yeah, yeah, you guys go round saying shit like 'Damn, that's mean but it's true. But mean. Yes, mean. Meanmeanmean. Meanie.' And all I can think of is really, how you would give up a lot just to be able to say what I could. Truth is, we all are so deluded by our interest in keeping the so called 'balance' of the world that we end up sucking up to each other. I'm not saying I'm exempted from it, hell I'm as bad as anyone else, particularly if certain, well uh, criteria are met. You know. Fuck it, if a hot chic comes by, for the survival of the species, I will lie. In the mask of honesty. Damn, this manipulation thing is getting to me.

You so don't look fat in that dress, babe. Your friend, on the other hand...

Where was I...

Ah yes. Honesty. It's funny how we're literally bred to fucking tell the truth but the moment some fuck comes around and gets labelled as a friend, we immediately become fucking hypocrites. I mean, really, if you look fat, I'll tell you that you look fat, it's reality and hell, in this world, that's the only thing that matters. You want to blame me, go on, but it doesn't change the fact that people will look at you and say the same thing. And fuck it, since when has being fat make you less worthy? Of course, I forgot, it's your friends that told you that. And when they say that, that's like totally trustworthy right? According to my logic, if you're genetically engineered by the Ooperwalla to be a tad bit heavy, then fuck it. Yeah, most of you are going on saying 'Pfft, you're thin, you don't know what it feels like.' Yes, of course I don't, wanna blame God now?

Everybody wants the truth, but in reality, nobody can handle it. Yes, that includes me, my superiorism only goes so far. Further than you though. Onwards to the main point. Being brutally honest.

You gotta be fucking kidding me if you think I'm even on that level.

Why not?

1. Suicidal tendencies. I refuse to have your death on my head.
2. Enemies. I already have enough, and I don't need your whining to add to it.
3. Obstruction to parasitism. In my big plan of doing nothing except manipulating, it'd be hard to get people to allow me to expand my vision when all they see when I walk by is a block of pain.
4. To separate the important from the non-important ones. See, this one is kinda corny but important as well. I can only be brutally honest to people who I recognize as being one who is important in my life, that way, I can lie all I want but still keep the good juicy pumpkins ones I care for close, even if it might torture them half to death first. Yes, that's proof of my superiority.
5. To not be that much of a douchebag. In my defense, I really enjoy being one, however, due to point 3 I cannot afford the luxury. Priorities first, as they say.

It all really comes to a thin line between being honest and just being mean. Yes, there is in fact a clear separation between those two. By being brutally honest, it's like doing fucken ballet on a cliff, on wrong step, one wrong statement, just a little tiny phrase, and you fall into the abyss of mean-ness.

That. Only there's abyss. Abyss. ABYSSS!!!

Words are swords laced with cyanide, once it cuts, there can be no healing. That's why it's different when it comes to people who are extremely close to me, they know how my mechanism works hence, they understand. It's a well known fact how I cannot (or refuse) to suppress my tongue, come to think of it, why should I. You call it cursing, I call it expressing, that's why I don't mind anybody cursing, it's a way of expressing. Simple.

Though I must say, I'm rambling now. Damn.

One last thing. It appears that for some reason, you little superficial bitch took a hit at a family member of mine. And you used my name. For some reason, I feel that we are gonna have a real long chat and things are going to get intolerably messy. Since everybody thinks I'm brutally honest, I'll give you a chance to see how fucked up it can really be. Heh, I can't fucking wait.