I for one, am going to forsake the title for it brings great pain to my itty bitty wittle heart. Instead, I am going to talk about things I hate. You know. Teenage fucking angst.
1) Responsibility
Of course being inevitable, I get the fact that the burden is great and the journey ever tortuous. Yet, at the same time, me being the fucking pessimist that I am, I would like to delay the start of the aforementioned journey until to a point where there is no more escaping. Why? Simply because I am one hell of a fucken irresponsible person.
I anger easily, I utterly disregard vital signs and I am possibly one of the most erratic person who've walked this cursed lands (Since I'm also a fucking egoist, I'm bound to believe that I am). Let's say you hand me a slip to get some groceries, a baby will die because apparently, two years ago, someone told me to keep an eye on it. What about the groceries you ask? What groceries are you talking about?
2) Concerning toilets.
I fucking hate urinals. If the world is under my rule (Which will be, just not at the moment. I'm too busy fighting caffeine intoxication) all urinals will be sentenced to death and their bodies be flayed in public. They'll forever be hung outside homes and malls to remind everyone that nobody fucking messes with my choice of toiletries. Nobody. It also serves as a reminder to all the other urinals hiding underground that I know they're there and I'm on their tails and when I catch them... Mustard gas would be a child's plaything compared to what I'm going to do with them.
Why do I hate these infernal spawn of Yog Sothoth so much, you ask? It's because their very creation defies the law of the land. No man should stand beside each other to take a piss while having to constantly be aware of their surroundings. No man should be subjected to such embarrassment when he realises that there are eyes lingering on his penis. No man should undergo the painful process of having to have a forced conversation while having to concentrate on the task which cannot be stopped no matter how hard he clenches his muscles. It's a bane really to talk with strangers while you take a piss. How am I fucking doing? I'm taking a fucking piss you fucking fucktard, that's how I'm doing and I have eyes to see that the fucking weather is fucking fine today, you don't have to narrate the fucking events of nature to me.
Also, presents in the toilet. Imagine waking up on a fine day, the sun is shining, you have had enough sleep and your dreams were wet and wild and all you want to do is take a nice long piss while singing Sweet Child of Mine. As you enter the loo, you suddenly feel a chill, a warning of doom, evil draws near... But you ignore it, what could possibly go wrong on such a perfect day? Then you close the door, unleash the beast and as you prepare to unclench those muscles, you realise something. What is that in the potty? Then fear overcomes your mind, you tremble and you take a step backwards... The beast shrivels but you cannot stop staring... It's the infamous unflushable menace, staring at you, baring it's undigested vegetable teeth at you...You panic, what do you do?
And the worst thing is... All you can think of singing now is the Sound of Music.
3) Cold water.
There's only one circumstance which I could accept the presence of cold water and that's to drink. Other than that, cold water is the fucking bane of mankind. It's depressing, looking forward to a morning shower and confidently striding into the shower only to be sprayed with cold water... It's as if the uni/multiverse has decided that your existence is just for it's own sick amusement and what better way to make a man dance than to spray cold water at him.
4) Non-readers who make readers' lives a living hell.
First and foremost, I really don't give a fuck if you don't read. I ponder upon the chance of sustenance of life once in a while but after about a minute, my mind moves on and I'll start thinking of shiny things instead. What I do take offence though, is the fact that some of these pesky non-readers tend to fucking frown upon us.
From where I come from, reading is an inborn trait, more like a parasite that haunts my dreams when I haven't read anything in awhile. I do understand the difference between upbringing etc etc, but what I don't understand, is when you question me about it.
"What're you doing?" "Why do you read all this stuff" "How could you read all these stuff" "What point is there in reading all these stuff" "You should be more productive"
And the list goes on and on. Why is it such a weird thing for a person to sit down and read a storybook? Does the fact that he/she does it tickle your hatred centre or do you just go around trolling for fun. Really, I'm at a lost here.
5) The need to socialise.
Imagine a world where everybody minds his/her own business, and talking only when there is something to talk about and socialising only with people who truly appreciate the same things as one does. Wait. I believe that's heaven. Or Valinor. Or Valhalla. Take your pick.
6) Acronyms.
This one is selective, in a way that I find some acceptable while others are just asking to be skewered in the throat when one says it. I don't mind stuff like 'TTYL' or 'BRB' or fuck it, even 'WTF/H'. What I do mind is when you take these fucking 'LOL's and 'LMAO's into the way you speak. I do realise that the term to each his own is greatly present here so fuck you, this is my thoughts, this is my space so do not beseech me while you are in my territory.
I just find it greatly irritating when you are talking to someone and suddenly he/she burst out in a violent explosion of sunshine and rainbows with the word 'LOL' streaming out of his/her mouth. Whatever happened to good ol' laughing? What happened to fucking 'Hahaha!'s? Is it so fucking hard to even say that? The moment somebody says 'LOL' I personally imagine him/her saying Laugh Out Loud. Am I projecting a clear image here? I shall give you an example.
"So I told him, fuck you, you fraggart!"
"I am Laughing Out Loud. Laughing Out Loud. LAUGHING OT LOUD! Now I am Laughing My Ass Off. Do you see me Mommy? I'm Laughing My Ass Off!"
Call me old fashioned, call me an old twat, but it doesn't change the fact that you look like a thorough retard to me.
7) Sharing Food.
I'm a selfish person. No doubt about it. I abhor the fact that I have to share my personal belongings with other people but at the same time, I'm also quite the hypocrite because I tend to do this quite a lot. The parasitic side of me takes control so very often, see.
What I am very, very particular about is food. I have a voracious appetite but then I also keep an eye on my money. Hence, by correlating both of these items, you get a selfish me. I do not think that I could come up with something more hated than another hand in my plate. I want every cent's worth of whatever I am spending on going into my stomach and mine alone. My hatred goes to the point that I am actually willing to buy another dish for you to feast on rather than give you what's on mine.
8) Disturbed when I actually have the attention-span to do something.
I have a near non-existent attention span. I blame the world for being so mundane and hence, being the main causative agent for this disease. At times though, I get a stroke of the good stuff and that's when I begin to work and be a productively awesomer member of the society. This does not occur very often and some of you might think that I am telling you a bedtime fucking story but alas, it does happen from time to time.
Which is why when this occurrence takes place, I'd like to be left alone, isolated and locked inside a padded chamber with a single teddy bear staring at me from the corner of the room. Why you might ask, would I like such a thing? Is it to keep me from losing interest and wandering away? Oh no, good sir/madam, you are gravely mistaken, the function of this... Is to keep you out.
When I am disturbed at these rare moments, I feel... I feel like Fingolfin during Dagor Bragollach... In easier terms, I feel fucking angry. I myself realise that I do not always come across these moments and I would prefer to take full advantage of this but then people would come and people would disturb and people would then fucking wonder why, oh why is this person so fucking angsty and filled with anger.
Now, I've lost interest in this and will be moving on.
1) Responsibility
Of course being inevitable, I get the fact that the burden is great and the journey ever tortuous. Yet, at the same time, me being the fucking pessimist that I am, I would like to delay the start of the aforementioned journey until to a point where there is no more escaping. Why? Simply because I am one hell of a fucken irresponsible person.
 |
| I'm not even in this sign. I'm the one driving at 250 km/h and I just laughed at this. Also, goddamit, I dropped my light. |
2) Concerning toilets.
I fucking hate urinals. If the world is under my rule (Which will be, just not at the moment. I'm too busy fighting caffeine intoxication) all urinals will be sentenced to death and their bodies be flayed in public. They'll forever be hung outside homes and malls to remind everyone that nobody fucking messes with my choice of toiletries. Nobody. It also serves as a reminder to all the other urinals hiding underground that I know they're there and I'm on their tails and when I catch them... Mustard gas would be a child's plaything compared to what I'm going to do with them.
Why do I hate these infernal spawn of Yog Sothoth so much, you ask? It's because their very creation defies the law of the land. No man should stand beside each other to take a piss while having to constantly be aware of their surroundings. No man should be subjected to such embarrassment when he realises that there are eyes lingering on his penis. No man should undergo the painful process of having to have a forced conversation while having to concentrate on the task which cannot be stopped no matter how hard he clenches his muscles. It's a bane really to talk with strangers while you take a piss. How am I fucking doing? I'm taking a fucking piss you fucking fucktard, that's how I'm doing and I have eyes to see that the fucking weather is fucking fine today, you don't have to narrate the fucking events of nature to me.
 |
| Whoever called me insane should be thrown into this... Void... |
 |
| Police? KILL IT WITH FIRE! |
3) Cold water.
There's only one circumstance which I could accept the presence of cold water and that's to drink. Other than that, cold water is the fucking bane of mankind. It's depressing, looking forward to a morning shower and confidently striding into the shower only to be sprayed with cold water... It's as if the uni/multiverse has decided that your existence is just for it's own sick amusement and what better way to make a man dance than to spray cold water at him.
4) Non-readers who make readers' lives a living hell.
First and foremost, I really don't give a fuck if you don't read. I ponder upon the chance of sustenance of life once in a while but after about a minute, my mind moves on and I'll start thinking of shiny things instead. What I do take offence though, is the fact that some of these pesky non-readers tend to fucking frown upon us.
 |
| What you look like when you do so. |
"What're you doing?" "Why do you read all this stuff" "How could you read all these stuff" "What point is there in reading all these stuff" "You should be more productive"
And the list goes on and on. Why is it such a weird thing for a person to sit down and read a storybook? Does the fact that he/she does it tickle your hatred centre or do you just go around trolling for fun. Really, I'm at a lost here.
5) The need to socialise.
Imagine a world where everybody minds his/her own business, and talking only when there is something to talk about and socialising only with people who truly appreciate the same things as one does. Wait. I believe that's heaven. Or Valinor. Or Valhalla. Take your pick.
6) Acronyms.
This one is selective, in a way that I find some acceptable while others are just asking to be skewered in the throat when one says it. I don't mind stuff like 'TTYL' or 'BRB' or fuck it, even 'WTF/H'. What I do mind is when you take these fucking 'LOL's and 'LMAO's into the way you speak. I do realise that the term to each his own is greatly present here so fuck you, this is my thoughts, this is my space so do not beseech me while you are in my territory.
I just find it greatly irritating when you are talking to someone and suddenly he/she burst out in a violent explosion of sunshine and rainbows with the word 'LOL' streaming out of his/her mouth. Whatever happened to good ol' laughing? What happened to fucking 'Hahaha!'s? Is it so fucking hard to even say that? The moment somebody says 'LOL' I personally imagine him/her saying Laugh Out Loud. Am I projecting a clear image here? I shall give you an example.
"So I told him, fuck you, you fraggart!"
"I am Laughing Out Loud. Laughing Out Loud. LAUGHING OT LOUD! Now I am Laughing My Ass Off. Do you see me Mommy? I'm Laughing My Ass Off!"
Call me old fashioned, call me an old twat, but it doesn't change the fact that you look like a thorough retard to me.
7) Sharing Food.
I'm a selfish person. No doubt about it. I abhor the fact that I have to share my personal belongings with other people but at the same time, I'm also quite the hypocrite because I tend to do this quite a lot. The parasitic side of me takes control so very often, see.
What I am very, very particular about is food. I have a voracious appetite but then I also keep an eye on my money. Hence, by correlating both of these items, you get a selfish me. I do not think that I could come up with something more hated than another hand in my plate. I want every cent's worth of whatever I am spending on going into my stomach and mine alone. My hatred goes to the point that I am actually willing to buy another dish for you to feast on rather than give you what's on mine.
 |
| What the bloody fuck.... |
I have a near non-existent attention span. I blame the world for being so mundane and hence, being the main causative agent for this disease. At times though, I get a stroke of the good stuff and that's when I begin to work and be a productively awesomer member of the society. This does not occur very often and some of you might think that I am telling you a bedtime fucking story but alas, it does happen from time to time.
Which is why when this occurrence takes place, I'd like to be left alone, isolated and locked inside a padded chamber with a single teddy bear staring at me from the corner of the room. Why you might ask, would I like such a thing? Is it to keep me from losing interest and wandering away? Oh no, good sir/madam, you are gravely mistaken, the function of this... Is to keep you out.
When I am disturbed at these rare moments, I feel... I feel like Fingolfin during Dagor Bragollach... In easier terms, I feel fucking angry. I myself realise that I do not always come across these moments and I would prefer to take full advantage of this but then people would come and people would disturb and people would then fucking wonder why, oh why is this person so fucking angsty and filled with anger.
Now, I've lost interest in this and will be moving on.
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