Above: Bad-fucking-assery at its ultimately refined finest. Playing the koto will be a deal breaker when I start to scour the earth for a life companion.
Seriously, man. What the fuck. This blows my mind to the seventh circle of hell. That fucking traditional distortion!
I just came out of tonsillectomy surgery.
I mean, I've seen a lot of fucking surgeries; I've seen amputations, explorations, subdural haematomas and its epic blood spurts but nothing, I repeat, nothing beats tonsillectomies when it comes to rubbing me the wrong fucking way.
The oral cavity is just a fucking horrid place to work with. For example, when it comes to pus, it wouldn't bother me if I found it in the abdomen or in the brain or in the spinal column. If anything, it'd double my interest on how the fuck it got there et cetera. But when it's in the mouth, that shit just enters into a whole new fucking dimension of fuck-me-in-the-nostril.
Anything that goes wrong in the mouth makes it seem as if a portal to the underworld has just been opened. Exhibit A:
You know what that shit is called? Black hairy tongue. If there is anything in the world that shouldn't coincide; those are it. I mean, what the fuck did you have to go through to get your tongue to look like that? Exhibit B:
No, as difficult as it is to believe, that is not Yog Sothoth's bedchamber. It's a relatively innocent condition called follicular tonsillitis but the presentation makes it look as if it's the worst motherfucking apocalyptic disease in the multiverse. It's like a mini zombie apocalypse right there in your mouth.
And many many others. Fuck diseases of the mouth.
*
I dreamt that I was with this group of people and we went hiking or whatever it is that involves a lot of climbing. For some reason when we were going down, the jeep that we were in got stuck/lost so we started walking. Somewhere along the way, we had to cross this massive log. While on said log, things got fucking weird. I'm sure I went into a state where I was half awake because I saw my blanket in front of me and something told me there's danger ahead. So there I was, on the fucking massive log draped over with my blanket and I just wondered how the fuck I'm going to explain this to the other people behind me.
So I asked them to wait and I got on all fours and I patted the blanket down. I felt something under it and it was long and wriggling (I have a feeling that it was my penis) so I immediately thought of a snake. Then I disregarded that thought and pulled the blanket off and guess what; it was a fucking snake. So I backed the fuck away and this guy behind me fell to his death, probably. Somehow, the log dislodged and pinned the dead guy's wife.
So we all lifted this massive motherfucking log of her and she became the ultimate boss bitch because she believed that I killed her husband. Rather than sock her in the face for being such a dumb fucking cum guzzler, I explained to her the whole physics of what just happened instead. I told her that the log weighed fifteen stone which now I realise isn't that heavy at all. And I guilt tripped her into believing that we were all weak but we still went ahead and spent a ridiculous amount of energy into lifting that damned log. Then my brain bot bored of all the fake science and moved on to another dream.
This is why I believe my brain has a grudge against me. So I dreamt I was in a relationship with this woman whose face I can no longer recall. I just remember she has wild shoulder length hair and her smile makes me want to buy stuff for her or something. Whatever. Thing is, she doesn't pay attention to me. I mean she's there, she acknowledges my existence and she talks to me but her attention is always diverted to something else whenever I start to talk about us and our significance or whatever faggy shit like that.
So somehow, this thought came to me and it told me that I should leave this crazy shit and go have fun somewhere else but right then, she comes and makes me feel important and this cycle repeats a fucking lot of time. Eventually there were these strangers in the house who were her friends and I was doing shit for her I didn't want to do and it was fucking confusing.
Admittedly, there was a lot more to the dream but I can't seem to recall. Maybe later.
Fuck, man, thinking about that shit is depressing. She's perfect, you know, but shit, does she even fucking care? Why am I getting worked up over a fucking dream?
Ah, well. A better one will come, hopefully.
No comments:
Post a Comment