Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Curses

I was surfing round the internet and found this fucking hilarious site. Whoever said you can't laugh while you learn.

So yeah, one of the topic is the 9 most devastating insults from around the world.

1: The Spaniards

"Suck butter from my ass" (Chupe mantequilla de mi culo)

"I shit on your dead" (Me cago en tus muertos)

"I shit on God" (Me cago en Dios)

"I shit in/on your whore mother" (Me cago en tu puta madre)

Apparently these guys have an obsession with fecal matter, so let's not go there.

2: The Arabs

"A thousand dicks in your religion" (Elif air ab dinikh)

"May you be struck by a dick" (Air il'e yoshmotak)

"My dick in your conscience" (Airy fe dameerak)

"My dick in your mother's rib cage" (Eyreh be afass seder emmak)

And these guys like dicks?

3: The Irish

Many classic curses from Ireland come out of Gaelic, which gives them a more folksy, old-timey appeal. Such as, "Go n-ithe an cat thu, is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat" (May the cat eat you, and may the devil eat the cat).

"Gobshite" (shithead)

"Piss artist" (alcoholic)

"As Thick As Manure And Only Half As Useful."

4: Bulgarians

"Your mother sucks bears in the forest" (Mayka ti duha na mechki v gorata)

"Fuck this tilted field" (Da eba taz kreeva neeva)

"You're as ugly as a salad" (Grozna si kato salata)

So... These fuckers like to curse while utilizing Mother Nature's gifts... Which is what vegetarians do, no?

But my favourite: Nosa ti e kato ruska putka" (Your nose is like a Russian pussy).

Which makes you think: Should I be insulted because I'm a Russian or because my nose is referred to as a pussy? Either way, it doesn't matter cause to me, whoever said that is prepared to knock you the fuck out, I mean, they're fucking Bulgarians for fucks sake.

5: Chinese

Fuck the 18 generations of your ancestors" (Cao ni zu zong shi ba dai)

Wear a green hat." This doesn't sound particularly offensive until you understand that green hats were a component of the male brothel workers uniform during the Tang dynasty. These brothels were so prominent that some historians speculate the Tang dynasty was actually named after the amount of poozle they serviced rather than the emperor's family. References to green hats can challenge the fidelity of someone's wife or suggest someone's father is an anonymous man whore.

"Your mother is a big turtle" (Nide muchin shr ega da wukwei). Again, means nothing without context. But because a turtle doesn't know its father, it's a creative way of calling someone a bastard.

6: Icelanders.

Grandfatherfucker" (Afatottari)

When they eventually run out of random items to call one another, they will revert to grittier tactics. A grand majority of them revolve around who or what their antagonist is prone to fucking.

"Corpsefucker" (naridill)

"Sheepfucker" (rollurioari)

"Unclefucker" (frandseroir)

It's assuring to see other cultures helping us to push the envelope of what "fuck" is truly capable of.

7: Armenians

I'll make sarma (Egg-roll. WTF.) with your penis' skin" (Glirit mortin hed sarma shinem)

Fun Fact: You can gauge how industrialized a nation is by the percentage of their insults that involve barnyard animals.

"Eshoon noor oodel chi vayeler" It's not pretty watching a jackass try to eat a pomegranate (read: clumsy).

"Krisnera zhazh tan vred" Let the rats ejaculate on you.(This is disturbing. Even for me.)

"Kak oudelic shoon" Shit eating dog.

"Eshu Koorak" Son of Donkey.

8: Serbians.

May God give you to search for your children with a Geiger counter" (Da bog da trazio detzoo Gaygerovim broyachem)

No, it doesn't make sense to me either.. But still, if you're in a country that practically shits out uranium, why not curse with nuclear related shit ey?

The Pope fucks you" (Jebo te Papa)

"May your house be live on CNN" (Da bog da ti kuca bila na CNN-U)--this essentially means I hope NATO will bomb your house.

Da bi te majka prepoznala u bureku" (Let your mother recognize you in a meat pie)

Da Bog da ti zena rodila stonogu pa ceo zivot radio za cipele" (May your wife give birth to a centipede so you have to work for shoes all your life)

Thats more like it. Go SERBIANS!

9: Romanians.

Stick your hand in my ass and jerk off with my shit" (Sa-mi bagi mana-n cur si sa-mi faci laba la cacat)

What the fuck? If you think thats bad enough, be prepared for what's coming up. It's disturbing, unisexually.

Shampoo my dick-hair with your saliva" (Shampona-mi-ai flocii cu saliva)

"Brush your teeth, my dick will be inspecting soon!" (Spala-te pe dinti ca vin cu pula in inspectie)

Mothers are another favorite target in this region. However, rather than indulge the classic "Yo Mamma" insult architecture, they prefer to taint her sanctity in a round-about way. For example, "Usca-mi-as sosetele pe crucea ma`tii" (I dry my socks on your mother's cross) is blasphemous, but really only as a vehicle to get at the mom. You really have to applaud the balls it takes to assault God just to slam someone's mother.

How fucked up is that. And here we have people feeling like there's blood coming outta their ears when the word shit comes up.

We seriously need a lot of catching up to do.

1 comment:

shenmarc said...

yeah phai..looks like we do indeed need to catch up..n i tot phai curses were vulgar eh...more like vulgaris next to dese fuggas