Vacation through the Awesome Room.

No, my room is not awesome unfortunately, it's more of a dump to be honest. I am however proud of my growing tower of cigarette boxes. I call it the tower of DEAAAAATTTTHHHH.

Like this, only minus the girl, the clean table and well... Minus everything..

I dreamt I had cancer yesterday. In the dream everybody was like 'You'll be fine goddammit, it's benign, let's go to the hospital and get it checked'. I told them that I've got fucking lymph node affection and everything else indicating it being malignant but no one wants to listen to me. They're all going round, bundling me into cars and shit, going to this specialist and that when all I wanted to do was fucking come to terms with the fact that I was going to die.

It wasn't easy I guess, even when I realised that it's a dream, the thought of death is real. I was going to die from a debilitating disease. I'm not saying I was all cool about it, not regretting anything, hell, I was fucking screaming (Well, roaring would be more like it, but for your advantage, I label it screaming).

Oh ho ho ho ho.

At that point, all I thought I'd do before I die became obsolete. Like, there I was, having a lifespan of about a year or less and you people are talking about going sky-diving? I think not, I realised that all I want was to be with people who I love (Prachi Desai? Audrey Hepburn? Zooey Deschanel? Jas?) and love me back (Not Prachi Desai, not Audrey Hepburn, not Zooey Deschanel and not Jas). I don't give a fuck about skydiving or eating this and that exotic food or travelling to places that needs a fuckload of money just to get there. I just want to stay home with an unlimited supply of books, home-cooked food and the tranquillity which would last until I finally die. Morbid, yes, but hey, we all have our perspective.

I don't want to die, to be honest. I actually do think that I am worthy of immortality. No, it's not because I am a bringer of great things and advancements, I don't think people should be given immortality because of that. I believe it's mainly because I do no harm and don't fuck around in people's business. If I was immortal, I'd spend that time going through every book present in the multiverse and just go on gaining non-stop knowledge. Then I'll stay home, drink home-brewed coffee and watch awesome holographic porn that would be created at the end of days maybe tend to the graves of my family. Hmmm.

I guess that'd be the downside to immortality. You have to be the definition of anti-social, maybe the king of anti-socialism. Or you know, just don't give a fuck. To watch your beloved die. Ah, well, nothing beats that.

Everytime I think of family deaths, this cunt comes to mind.

The weather seems to be okay now, I guess. It's been cold for far too long and I might have a disease associated to cold. My fucking fingers swell up to double its normal size (... Drop the ice, Ladies.) and upon further half-assed research, it's probably a problem with perfusion. Or something.

I'm going into Paediatrics after the holidays are over (3 MORE DAYS NAAAAWWWWWW) and I'm scared shitless. I fucking hate kids, and that's not even the point, how am I supposed to handle children when I obviously cannot have an attention span of more than 10 minutes? Then I see people putting up facebook statuses saying 'Oh lawdy, I can't wait to hold those little tootsies in me arms'. I hope they die in your arms. I really hope they do. Bleed to death maybe. Or have a seizure. Maybe tell that it's your fault. Something.

Re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re...reading the Silmarillion and re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re...watching the Lord of the Rings extended trilogy. Nothing beats this.

Eargasm of the day: Because I have nothing to do.