Trust me on this (I'd advice you not to do so in most situations), having an addiction is one of the most overrated fucking thing people tend to make an issue out of. It's fine, really, because let's just face it, everybody has an addiction.
What sucks though, is when you realise this addiction is taking over your life.
I believe I speak for a lot of people when I say that having an addiction is like having a mistress. She's always there for you, she's expensive, she doesn't nag or make you feel useless like your spouse does and to be honest, you know that what you're doing is harmful but not having her around is like hell on earth. Sure, she occasionally whips out her torture machines and lets you have it right up the arse, but hey, you know she loves you.
I'm going to take this chance to actually for once use myself as an example. Right now, I have an ashtray filled to the brim, and a stack of fourteen empty boxes of cigarettes on my table. And another one that I just bought a few minutes ago. There's cigarette butts in the plate I use to eat my dinner yesterday too. What does this tell? I'm a smoker and the only thing stopping me from smoking about two packets a day is the fact that I'm that cheapskate. They were wrong when they said that cheapskate-ness does not do anybody any good.
Yes, I have a nicotine addiction apart from others. What's the point of saying all this? Hold the fuck on you fuckwit, I have a point. See, I woke up just now after the sun had gone down and the first thing in my mind was that I really, really, really need a fag. Then I looked around and realised that I'm all out and so in my dishevelled appearance, I walked down ten flights of stairs, went to a shop and bought a pack. Something that I find hard to do even if someone I know got hit by a car. Then, while lighting up, I thought to myself, how dependant am I of these non-boobed beings? I made a list too.
1. While taking a bath.
2. Before a meal.
3. After a meal.
4. While taking a dump.
5. After taking a dump.
6. While talking with people (It helps me not tear their eyes out and piss into the empty socket).
7. While watching a film.
8. While playing a game.
9. While doing everything else.
10. While not doing anything at all.
Which is when I realised that I tend to smoke at every single point possible in my daily activities. Does this scare me? Not quite. Does this mean I have a problem? Yes, probably. Does this make me want to stop? Hmmm, that's a tough one.
I believe that quitting an addiction requires a... Sort of catalyst. Something like an event which requires one to quit. Ask any smoker if they're going to quit and they will tell you yes, but they'll immediately whip out another stick and light it. Tell a smoker that they can quit without any repercussions or withdrawal and everyone will jump right at you asking to take their money. Everybody wants to quit. Everybody.
The problem is that nobody understands how hard it is to actually quit. It's easy talking about how great and cheerful and fucking sunny life would be after quitting but no one actually tells you what the fuck happens when you decide to quit. I shit you not, it's hard on a physical and mental level. I've tried and I've failed.
Here's the thing. Smoking is all about the environment. As a smoker, when you see people smoke, your brain would somehow tell you that you too need a fix. That's why you tend to see a table full of smokers and if you analyse them closely, their smoking pattern match each other. When one smokes, the others will. I say this literally: If you're asking a smoker to quit, you're asking him to not see anybody who smokes. Which is a lot of fucking people, man.
But then you say: Oh, come on, he's gotta at least have some willpower. Quitting requires a lot of that.
To which I reply: You've taken from this person, the thing which helps him get his brain running, help him out of bed in the morning and face the world in a civic manner. Do you really think that he even has an ounce of willpower left without it. Maybe, but hey, that thing tends to run out pretty fucking quickly.
It's easy when it comes to talking about it but the fact of the matter remains that action is a fuckload harder. People talk about withdrawal syndrome as if they go to bed with it every night but fuck man, it's some heavy shit. None of them knows about the stomach cramps, or the inability to fucking think or how your brain always, always sabotages the whole effort by actually making some sort of an excuse to let you smoke again. This here sums it up: I'm a link, I'm a link too.
Will I ever stop? Raam janne, man. Do I secretly hope that I will? Yeah, sure. Now though, looking at the cigarette boxes staring at me, it really does help. I always picture them smiling sweetly at me and hinting that they have pieces of my lungs tucked in between the folds of their foil.
Eargasm of the day: Relevant.
What sucks though, is when you realise this addiction is taking over your life.
I believe I speak for a lot of people when I say that having an addiction is like having a mistress. She's always there for you, she's expensive, she doesn't nag or make you feel useless like your spouse does and to be honest, you know that what you're doing is harmful but not having her around is like hell on earth. Sure, she occasionally whips out her torture machines and lets you have it right up the arse, but hey, you know she loves you.
I'm going to take this chance to actually for once use myself as an example. Right now, I have an ashtray filled to the brim, and a stack of fourteen empty boxes of cigarettes on my table. And another one that I just bought a few minutes ago. There's cigarette butts in the plate I use to eat my dinner yesterday too. What does this tell? I'm a smoker and the only thing stopping me from smoking about two packets a day is the fact that I'm that cheapskate. They were wrong when they said that cheapskate-ness does not do anybody any good.
 |
| Cheapskate-ness stopped me from being in this picture. |
1. While taking a bath.
2. Before a meal.
3. After a meal.
4. While taking a dump.
5. After taking a dump.
6. While talking with people (It helps me not tear their eyes out and piss into the empty socket).
7. While watching a film.
8. While playing a game.
9. While doing everything else.
10. While not doing anything at all.
Which is when I realised that I tend to smoke at every single point possible in my daily activities. Does this scare me? Not quite. Does this mean I have a problem? Yes, probably. Does this make me want to stop? Hmmm, that's a tough one.
I believe that quitting an addiction requires a... Sort of catalyst. Something like an event which requires one to quit. Ask any smoker if they're going to quit and they will tell you yes, but they'll immediately whip out another stick and light it. Tell a smoker that they can quit without any repercussions or withdrawal and everyone will jump right at you asking to take their money. Everybody wants to quit. Everybody.
Here's the thing. Smoking is all about the environment. As a smoker, when you see people smoke, your brain would somehow tell you that you too need a fix. That's why you tend to see a table full of smokers and if you analyse them closely, their smoking pattern match each other. When one smokes, the others will. I say this literally: If you're asking a smoker to quit, you're asking him to not see anybody who smokes. Which is a lot of fucking people, man.
But then you say: Oh, come on, he's gotta at least have some willpower. Quitting requires a lot of that.
To which I reply: You've taken from this person, the thing which helps him get his brain running, help him out of bed in the morning and face the world in a civic manner. Do you really think that he even has an ounce of willpower left without it. Maybe, but hey, that thing tends to run out pretty fucking quickly.
It's easy when it comes to talking about it but the fact of the matter remains that action is a fuckload harder. People talk about withdrawal syndrome as if they go to bed with it every night but fuck man, it's some heavy shit. None of them knows about the stomach cramps, or the inability to fucking think or how your brain always, always sabotages the whole effort by actually making some sort of an excuse to let you smoke again. This here sums it up: I'm a link, I'm a link too.
Will I ever stop? Raam janne, man. Do I secretly hope that I will? Yeah, sure. Now though, looking at the cigarette boxes staring at me, it really does help. I always picture them smiling sweetly at me and hinting that they have pieces of my lungs tucked in between the folds of their foil.
Eargasm of the day: Relevant.
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