Exams are in two motherfucking days.
Well. Apparently in my past days of lazing around and going/not going to class routine, it's already been a month. Which basically means that Paediatrics is done with, exams are coming and EXAMS ARE FUCKING COMING! ALL HOPE IS LOST! FAITH IS DEAD AND WE'RE DOOMED!
Ahem. Allow me to try and comfort myself and OH GOD FUCK FUCK FUCK I'M GONNA DIE AND FAIL AND END UP SWEEPING GARBAGE AND BE HOMELESS AND MY DICK WILL ROT AND I'LL SUCK OFF RICH BUSINESSMEN FOR CIGARETTES!
Okay, okay, enough on that. Well, I guess it's inevitable, I was pretty sure that when I found out the whole Paediatric thingamajiggy is going to only last for about 4 weeks, this whole thing would happen. Ah well, you cut class, you face the fucked up consequences of being raped by textbooks with spiky dicks.
You'll be fine, my other third said. You'll die a horrible death, the other third said. I don't know what to listen to any more.
On the bright side, I believe that I'm over the whole negativity that came with having too much thought in my brain. No, I still don't know the solution but I guess sometimes, you just have to leave things as it is, go the fuck on and live your fucking life and when things get a wee bit more stable, you come back and analyse it. I still don't feel like talking to people and i actually feel pretty bad about it (Right, of course you do). Sorry Chiko, I was really out of it, I'll make it up to you man.
Things are hectic and changing and morphing at a rate that I'm not comfortable with. Yes, I understand that this is what people mean when they tell me that I have to flow with the currents but I can't. I simply cannot. I'm impaired that way. I hate it when things move fast (Vehicles, chord progressions, running, demons, etc) and while I can obviously keep track, I can't bring myself to follow. Like... Like... Like when you know that there's nothing wrong with resting and just relaxing but this cunt of a fuck just keeps on prodding you asking you to get going, race after everybody else, get on top. You feel like strangling that fucker with his own intestines, gouge his eyeballs out and take a huge dump in the now empty eye-socket, stuff his anus with alcohol soaked gauze and set it on fire... You get where this is going. The problem here is that I don't have that fucking adversary. It's just the whole fucking world going on and on and if I don't catch up, I'll get fucked in more ways than I'm comfortable with. Like not passing, not getting a job, not having money, having to suck off strangers, all that shit. It's a fucking cruel world, man, when you think of it.
But yeah, then the wise guys go ahead and say 'That's life me wee lad, take it like a man,'. Well fuck you very much Elrond, your comprehension of being a man is clearly fucking flawed. I get it though. Man the fuck up. When life gives you lemons, you spike life's face into the concrete pavement and use his acetabulum to fucking make lemonade.
I realise that everybody knows this. Life is full of shit and you gotta fucking do whatever you need to do to get out of the pit. It's inbuilt in us but I dare say that not many people can do it. We've got limitations and fucking hats off to those who can do it, I really believe they deserve an applause. It doesn't matter if they're criminals or fucking white knights in a suit of righteous armour, the fact remains that they did what they had to do to survive. So yeah, don't bitch about the whole 'Boo-hoo I'm the fucking 99%'. They got to be the 1% because they had the fucking initiative to reach that height.
Look at it this way, it all boils down to a matter of how badly you want something. In the long 20 or so years I've lived, the one lesson that I've actually picked up is that everybody can talk. It's our biggest flaw. We talk so fucking much. I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna get that girl, I'm gonna get full marks, I'm gonna get that promotion, I'm gonna gonna gonna. And then people are surprised when they don't get it, they cannot fathom the fact that they've spent all that time talking while others already had a headstart and got into the game. Then they bitch and whine and cry and use this as an excuse for their own failures.
I know because I fucking do it too. Everybody does it. We're not exempt from our own nature, I believe. But then I guess some people start to realise that it's their fault, and they've got to mend things on their own. These are the people whom I look up to and aspire to be. You can make mistakes, you should make mistakes, but always, always fucking fess up and try your best to make things right again. By action, not by talking.
I think there's a fucking lesson stuck in there somewhere, obscured by filth probably but meh, my brain is too fucked up to comprehend what I wrote. Fuck all this. Exams, I shall relish the day when I am the one who wields you and get to fuck around with students.
#Edit# The main reason I think I've gotten over the whole mind fuck slave cunt shit fuck thing is because it is now warm. No more freezing extremities and shrunken balls for half a year!
#Edit 2# How fucked up is it that on the last day of clinicals, I got to finally meet a nurse/attendant that's fucking insanely cute. I shit you not man, them eyes fucking sparkle.
Eargasm of the day: Because Kingdom Hearts is fuck awesome.
Well. Apparently in my past days of lazing around and going/not going to class routine, it's already been a month. Which basically means that Paediatrics is done with, exams are coming and EXAMS ARE FUCKING COMING! ALL HOPE IS LOST! FAITH IS DEAD AND WE'RE DOOMED!
Ahem. Allow me to try and comfort myself and OH GOD FUCK FUCK FUCK I'M GONNA DIE AND FAIL AND END UP SWEEPING GARBAGE AND BE HOMELESS AND MY DICK WILL ROT AND I'LL SUCK OFF RICH BUSINESSMEN FOR CIGARETTES!
 |
| NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO |
You'll be fine, my other third said. You'll die a horrible death, the other third said. I don't know what to listen to any more.
On the bright side, I believe that I'm over the whole negativity that came with having too much thought in my brain. No, I still don't know the solution but I guess sometimes, you just have to leave things as it is, go the fuck on and live your fucking life and when things get a wee bit more stable, you come back and analyse it. I still don't feel like talking to people and i actually feel pretty bad about it (Right, of course you do). Sorry Chiko, I was really out of it, I'll make it up to you man.
Things are hectic and changing and morphing at a rate that I'm not comfortable with. Yes, I understand that this is what people mean when they tell me that I have to flow with the currents but I can't. I simply cannot. I'm impaired that way. I hate it when things move fast (Vehicles, chord progressions, running, demons, etc) and while I can obviously keep track, I can't bring myself to follow. Like... Like... Like when you know that there's nothing wrong with resting and just relaxing but this cunt of a fuck just keeps on prodding you asking you to get going, race after everybody else, get on top. You feel like strangling that fucker with his own intestines, gouge his eyeballs out and take a huge dump in the now empty eye-socket, stuff his anus with alcohol soaked gauze and set it on fire... You get where this is going. The problem here is that I don't have that fucking adversary. It's just the whole fucking world going on and on and if I don't catch up, I'll get fucked in more ways than I'm comfortable with. Like not passing, not getting a job, not having money, having to suck off strangers, all that shit. It's a fucking cruel world, man, when you think of it.
 |
| And you know that when they lug around a fucking shotgun, shit just got real. |
I realise that everybody knows this. Life is full of shit and you gotta fucking do whatever you need to do to get out of the pit. It's inbuilt in us but I dare say that not many people can do it. We've got limitations and fucking hats off to those who can do it, I really believe they deserve an applause. It doesn't matter if they're criminals or fucking white knights in a suit of righteous armour, the fact remains that they did what they had to do to survive. So yeah, don't bitch about the whole 'Boo-hoo I'm the fucking 99%'. They got to be the 1% because they had the fucking initiative to reach that height.
Look at it this way, it all boils down to a matter of how badly you want something. In the long 20 or so years I've lived, the one lesson that I've actually picked up is that everybody can talk. It's our biggest flaw. We talk so fucking much. I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna get that girl, I'm gonna get full marks, I'm gonna get that promotion, I'm gonna gonna gonna. And then people are surprised when they don't get it, they cannot fathom the fact that they've spent all that time talking while others already had a headstart and got into the game. Then they bitch and whine and cry and use this as an excuse for their own failures.
I know because I fucking do it too. Everybody does it. We're not exempt from our own nature, I believe. But then I guess some people start to realise that it's their fault, and they've got to mend things on their own. These are the people whom I look up to and aspire to be. You can make mistakes, you should make mistakes, but always, always fucking fess up and try your best to make things right again. By action, not by talking.
I think there's a fucking lesson stuck in there somewhere, obscured by filth probably but meh, my brain is too fucked up to comprehend what I wrote. Fuck all this. Exams, I shall relish the day when I am the one who wields you and get to fuck around with students.
#Edit# The main reason I think I've gotten over the whole mind fuck slave cunt shit fuck thing is because it is now warm. No more freezing extremities and shrunken balls for half a year!
#Edit 2# How fucked up is it that on the last day of clinicals, I got to finally meet a nurse/attendant that's fucking insanely cute. I shit you not man, them eyes fucking sparkle.
Eargasm of the day: Because Kingdom Hearts is fuck awesome.
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