Youth.

You know a post is recycled when the first photo has nothing to do with anything.  Riddle me that, bitch.

We were young once. We all were, no matter how hard life fucks you or how early it did, there was always a time when you realised that you were a kid.

I've always wondered what growing up means, the literal interpretation of it and not just some fucked up philosophical bullshit. I still do wonder, but then when I really think of it, who really knows what growing up means. For some reason, I'm always shot down by the fact that nobody actually gives a shit about it. It's like suddenly, everybody grows up, no question asked.

Of course, being the cynical, logic-based ponderer, I can't accept that. I need to know. What does being an adult even mean? I think I somehow hinted (here) that being an adult does not require an age barrier, it's all in the mentality etcetera, etcetera. I still agree though but I think I might have missed something.

I forgot to talk about youth. So, that's what I'm going to do. Talk about being fucking young.

I don't know about any of you out there but I use the expression 'Back then' a fuckload of times that I often confuse myself for an eighty year old man. I think it's because I used to have so much fun as a kid, so many things were so fucking new and I could always find shit to do... Exploring ruined buildings or forests, fucking sneaking into government buildings.... Then over the years, I became more and more cynical and more and more hateful towards everything. Nowadays I still have that child in me lusting for adventure, he screams and he throws tantrums but then this shell, this outer coating of cement is far too strong for him to break through. I'm sorry, kiddo.

I made a vow with the Punjabi (Holy God, it does make you sound like a mythical beast) once about growing up. I think the vow was made to ourselves more than it was to each other but basically we promised to never let growing up get in the way we act as a person. By that time, we were in college and some of our friends had already gone into the workaholic phase and as a rule, we rarely ever saw any of them. We were two kids who understood what was happening but knew that it was not a necessary occurrence. So we bitched about it, like kids, and called the other people scum.

I believe that the whole act itself was a process of growing up. Only that while other people might've gone through it at the tender age of ten, I went through it at the age of eighteen and I'm actually proud to say that I'm still going through it. That's just it. I do unfortunately age but then I do it in a particularly slow manner. The best part is that I know that as soon as I start working I will not be able to hold that vow; not because of the nature of a doctor that's constantly swamped by endless work but because I myself will enable it. I'm a workaholic it seems, while I tend to let procrastination and Lady Sloth best me most of the time, when I do find something worthy of my attention, I let it gobble me up from the inside like MRSA in an immunosuppressed patient. We cannot, after all, deny who we truly are.

And for the record, I'm actually Melkor, Morgoth, the Dark Enemy, whatever you want to call it.

Being young is evidently awesome and while I know that youth does not last forever, I don't think that being an adult is half bad. There's always perks, especially concerning this one. People say that when you finally enter the age where things get really complicated and you have only yourself to depend on, that's when you realise that those days were fuck awesome. Well, I'm under no illusion that those days were awesome; what I do not agree with is the fact that responsibility is portrayed in such a negative manner. We all have our burdens and it moulds us into what we truly are. Managing responsibilities are a testament to greatness, only by carrying a burden which would easily crush lesser men would we know where we rank on the hierarchy of glory.

There's always that spark of amazement in everything when you're a kid. It could be the simplest damned thing, like a fucking sweet wrapper and yet... One can have so much fun with it. I guess I'm glad I never let that part of me go, being able to look at everything and turn it into some sort of game. When I really think of it, maybe this growing up fad is just another over-hyped trend. Maybe there isn't such a thing, maybe it's just a way you look at life, your very own perspective.

I'm done writing about this so penis penis balls chickadee.

*

I realised that I'm a fucking scumbag when it comes to relationships. It's like I don't really actually want to be in one, but the fact that I can and the fact that the chase would be spectacular overrides that. I'll do so much awesome shit before I actually get my hands on the prize but then... Well, after that... Nothing. Like an anti-climactic ending or a power trip guitar solo.Once I actually have my slimy hands on it, the whole thing just fucking dies. It goes beyond physical attraction, goes beyond emotional (If there ever is, in the first place) and well, it just goes to hell. Once the chase is over, that's it. There no longer is an attraction.

Eargasm of the day; this fucking song reduces one to a fucking slobbering mess.