Sleepless Nights 16 - Dammit woman, not you too?!

Okay.

Is it just me or is there a burst in suicidal tendencies?

Hmmm...

Suicide: The ultimate running away technique; a show of great cowardice, the great fall from grace etc etc. Is that your definition of suicide? Is it?

Then you are just as shallow as the common society. How embarrassing.

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that it's sickening to just label some suicidal fuck as what I've said above. Let's say your best friend/ family member committed suicide. I'd love to see you say how cowardly he/she is. Situations mate.

What if that person is fucked up in the mind? What if the person has gone through shit, fell into more shit, got out but tripped into a huge pile of shit and is drowning in it? Simply said, what if that person has gone through an extreme level of torment? Maybe you yourself in that position will run to the nearest spike and impale yourself on it. You don't fucking know what it feels like so stop comparing and labelling others. It's revolting.

Still, it hurts yeah when people close to you goes bang. I mean, the guilt from not being able to do anything and the shock that comes from it is fucked up.

Maybe some of you haven't been in the position and you will never ever understand what people like us, I mean them go through. You will never know what it feels like to stand on a balcony and play a scene in your head where you slip and fall; at the same time it feels so real, you could actually feel the wind rushing through your hair and-

A-hem. Descriptive aren't we?

I've been there, done that and still am. At times something just goes snap in my head and I fall into the hell hole. It's fucked up but I know people who have it worse. At least I have 2 fucks helping it out; they may be metaphysical but they still help. Some don't have anybody. It's just... sad.

They are not running away. Most of the time they are facing everything head on. Sometimes, they just blank out, there doesn't seem to be an option anymore. Oh to you who are saying 'There's always an option' with a radiant fucking glow on your face, here's cyanide.

It scares me that at times, I won't be able to claw my way out of the deep pit I seem to always fall into. What then? What'll happen when these two fellas cease to function? Who'll be there?

Z.F.: No one.

Okay. That was scary. Stop doing that mate. Especially not your growling voice thingy.

It does seem weird though why artist seem to be fairly susceptible to depression/ suicide. The way we look at life maybe? Maybe.

Shamziel is probably going to kill herself in a few months.

A still have a glimmer of hope.

Shit.

Dammit women.

What'll I do without your art?

P.S.: Spore is fucking addictive. So is Plants and Zombies.