Here's the first one: Click me or die a fiery death.
So, I realised that I might've left a few fictional bombshells out in the first part or the fact that I got some mixed up. So here's a second one. All the hot, mighty, fictional females to have ever graced my eyes with their presence, whether clothed or not.
1. Betty Rubble.
Look man, I know this is weird but hear me out. It was the flintstones, and I was a kid, and my eyes saw the world through really fucked up lenses, you know, and I uh, well... Do not fucking judge me you miserable piece of used tampon. I have my fucking reasons!
Especially when my reason looks like this:
Who's the fucking freak now, you cunt?
2. Cammy from motherfucking Street Fighter.
Ah, Cammy. The one character that managed to actually interest me in uh... The body department, shall we say, rather than the face. To that I shall forever be begrudgingly grateful because no woman on the surface of the fucking earth could rival hers. I'm talking about the thighs. Lower limbs. Legs. Things that people use to walk. That which continues from the ass. That which socks can be worn on. That which drives me spastic. That.
3. Lilly and Rin from the underrated Katawa Shoujo.
First of, a warning. If you do decide to google search Katawa Shoujo, be aware that I will not be held responsible for any episodes of agonizing despair, heart wrenching pain and/or gonad destroying plot. Enter the realm which has admittedly destroyed the lives of many men, and conquered the remaining others.
Obviously you must have questions. I shall answer them for you.
-Do I not feel like a pervert?
Why yes, initially, I did. But then I realised that there is nothing wrong with falling for fictional characters and at the same time there is nothing wrong with falling for disabled women.
-But... Dude, it's disturbing.
Of course it is. And I excel at being just that. You might not want to let your kids near me.
-Of all the women, why them?
Because they're fictional. Being just that, makes them all the more lovable. Being lovable in my terms mean they don't talk to me.
Yes. You're in the insane segment of this blog now.
4. Velma Dinkley.
After much thought and analysis, I realised that no, I do not like Daphne. She was merely a fascination, a superficial infatuation, something fragile and fake. I arrived at this conclusion through an algorithm which first made me believe that Daphne was the more superior female.
I started off by laying out what I wanted. Somebody smart, funny, innocent, slightly nuts and etcetera, etcetera. Daphne appealed to me because she was, by far, the more popular of the two and in my humiliating moment of conforming with social norms, I chose her. Then I started thinking, and realised that by choosing Daphne, I have destroyed my own credibility, my own reputation was laid to waste. So I got up and did the right fucking thing.
Also; all of the above had only a fraction of the influence. The rest came from this:
5. Prudence from Charmed or Charm'd or however the fuck you spell it.
Look goddammit, all of these are weird because I was a fucking kid and for some reason I watched all these fucking shows and it all got implanted in my head. I do not know why or how I'm into these fucks when I was a kid but I just happened to. I digress. Fuck.
But, emulating my ten year old persona, Prue is uh, apparently awesome. It's because of the telekinesis I believe. I've always wanted that ability and for some reason, little me thought that if I could get it on with her (Which is funny because back then getting it on meant holding hands) I'd get infected by the magic plague and gain the same powers.
Little me is full of fail.
6. Ayanami Rei from Neon Genesis Evangelion.
- Why?
She's a cold hearted witch who has epic levels of rationalism. And she has red eyes. And blue hair. Dude. It's the perfect fucking as;kdfhad;ovyhasjdvgakjbf;af combination. It's like fusing motherfucking Enma Ai and motherfucking Ramona Flowers together.
- In the show, she's an equivalent to a robot with bandages. She exhibits no emotion and is pretty much asexual.
So? As in, not 'so' in a manner to childishly refute your claims, I meant 'so' in a very rational way. So she's nearly asexual. What does it fucking matter. I'm looking for a fucking relationship, not a fucking sex slave. The conversations that we could have...
- You... Do realise that you're talking about a fictional character? With the realisation that she never laughed in the show. At all.
Read the fucking title you fucking maggot, why would I bother talking about fictional fucking characters if I actually believe that real women could satisfy my whim?
7. May Kasahara/ Midori Kobayashi from The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles/ Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami.
Well actually, they pretty much round up all the cheerful women. The reason why they're so damned awesome is because they're simply... Oblivious. Their role in the novels/movies/plays are simply to be the anti-thesis of the main characters. They're oblivious to the fucking problems of the protagonist and pretty much the world, they could always go around brightening up everybody's life.
- But you hate people who shit sunshine.
That, I do. However, in these cases, they are more often than not the contrast to the protagonist and also the main story. By having that role, they provide a whole new dimension to the novel. In their absence, the novel would simply be a dull, heart wrenching story devoid of joy and hope. Simply by being there and acting as they are, they inject a much needed 'spike' in the story. While you're feeling extremely low from the book's progression, they come along and force you to return to a plateau phase; allowing yourself to go back into that void of helplessness. In their absence the book will not seem to be as sad as it should be because you're already at rock bottom in the first place, there is no way you could fall lower.
8. Chantinelle/Ellie from Hellblazer (First appearance Hellblazer #43)
No idea why, succubi always makes me go all giddy. Well, yes, that's their power but, fuck it, giddy it is. She climbed up the charts when she corrupted Gabriel, which is pretty damned fucking awesome. And killing the first of the fallen with the dagger. And so on and so forth.
Oh, and because she looks like this when she metamorphs into her true form:
*
So, I realised that I might've left a few fictional bombshells out in the first part or the fact that I got some mixed up. So here's a second one. All the hot, mighty, fictional females to have ever graced my eyes with their presence, whether clothed or not.
 |
| I believe Sir Google misunderstood me when I searched for 'Mighty fictional females'... |
1. Betty Rubble.
 |
| Do not question me. |
Especially when my reason looks like this:
Who's the fucking freak now, you cunt?
2. Cammy from motherfucking Street Fighter.
 |
3. Lilly and Rin from the underrated Katawa Shoujo.
First of, a warning. If you do decide to google search Katawa Shoujo, be aware that I will not be held responsible for any episodes of agonizing despair, heart wrenching pain and/or gonad destroying plot. Enter the realm which has admittedly destroyed the lives of many men, and conquered the remaining others.
Obviously you must have questions. I shall answer them for you.
-Do I not feel like a pervert?
Why yes, initially, I did. But then I realised that there is nothing wrong with falling for fictional characters and at the same time there is nothing wrong with falling for disabled women.
-But... Dude, it's disturbing.
Of course it is. And I excel at being just that. You might not want to let your kids near me.
-Of all the women, why them?
Because they're fictional. Being just that, makes them all the more lovable. Being lovable in my terms mean they don't talk to me.
Yes. You're in the insane segment of this blog now.
4. Velma Dinkley.
After much thought and analysis, I realised that no, I do not like Daphne. She was merely a fascination, a superficial infatuation, something fragile and fake. I arrived at this conclusion through an algorithm which first made me believe that Daphne was the more superior female.
I started off by laying out what I wanted. Somebody smart, funny, innocent, slightly nuts and etcetera, etcetera. Daphne appealed to me because she was, by far, the more popular of the two and in my humiliating moment of conforming with social norms, I chose her. Then I started thinking, and realised that by choosing Daphne, I have destroyed my own credibility, my own reputation was laid to waste. So I got up and did the right fucking thing.
Also; all of the above had only a fraction of the influence. The rest came from this:
 |
| You may now fall in love. Lust. Love. |
Look goddammit, all of these are weird because I was a fucking kid and for some reason I watched all these fucking shows and it all got implanted in my head. I do not know why or how I'm into these fucks when I was a kid but I just happened to. I digress. Fuck.
But, emulating my ten year old persona, Prue is uh, apparently awesome. It's because of the telekinesis I believe. I've always wanted that ability and for some reason, little me thought that if I could get it on with her (Which is funny because back then getting it on meant holding hands) I'd get infected by the magic plague and gain the same powers.
Little me is full of fail.
6. Ayanami Rei from Neon Genesis Evangelion.
She's a cold hearted witch who has epic levels of rationalism. And she has red eyes. And blue hair. Dude. It's the perfect fucking as;kdfhad;ovyhasjdvgakjbf;af combination. It's like fusing motherfucking Enma Ai and motherfucking Ramona Flowers together.
- In the show, she's an equivalent to a robot with bandages. She exhibits no emotion and is pretty much asexual.
So? As in, not 'so' in a manner to childishly refute your claims, I meant 'so' in a very rational way. So she's nearly asexual. What does it fucking matter. I'm looking for a fucking relationship, not a fucking sex slave. The conversations that we could have...
- You... Do realise that you're talking about a fictional character? With the realisation that she never laughed in the show. At all.
Read the fucking title you fucking maggot, why would I bother talking about fictional fucking characters if I actually believe that real women could satisfy my whim?
7. May Kasahara/ Midori Kobayashi from The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles/ Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami.
Well actually, they pretty much round up all the cheerful women. The reason why they're so damned awesome is because they're simply... Oblivious. Their role in the novels/movies/plays are simply to be the anti-thesis of the main characters. They're oblivious to the fucking problems of the protagonist and pretty much the world, they could always go around brightening up everybody's life.
- But you hate people who shit sunshine.
That, I do. However, in these cases, they are more often than not the contrast to the protagonist and also the main story. By having that role, they provide a whole new dimension to the novel. In their absence, the novel would simply be a dull, heart wrenching story devoid of joy and hope. Simply by being there and acting as they are, they inject a much needed 'spike' in the story. While you're feeling extremely low from the book's progression, they come along and force you to return to a plateau phase; allowing yourself to go back into that void of helplessness. In their absence the book will not seem to be as sad as it should be because you're already at rock bottom in the first place, there is no way you could fall lower.
8. Chantinelle/Ellie from Hellblazer (First appearance Hellblazer #43)
No idea why, succubi always makes me go all giddy. Well, yes, that's their power but, fuck it, giddy it is. She climbed up the charts when she corrupted Gabriel, which is pretty damned fucking awesome. And killing the first of the fallen with the dagger. And so on and so forth.
Oh, and because she looks like this when she metamorphs into her true form:
 |
| Nothing turns one on more than the fear of an untimely death. |
Eargasm of the day:
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