Settled.

Went to the Atelier just now. I now officially have the gift of what my photography mentor says in his messages. Whatever he says, ignore it, go to the Atelier on Monday at 5.30 p.m.

Anyways, back to the topic. They were mounting the photos for the exhibition and seriously I was zonked (The author wonders whether that word exists and how it got into his vocabulary.) Being there in the middle of a room filled with photos, all I could say was:

Awesome

Holy Fuck

Awesome.

Shit!

What the Fuck...

Then I started to think while having a fag outside. It made me realise how, in the midst of the hundreds of photographs there, inferior I am compared to some of the photographers. How, I still have a long way to go, how at times I leave out the details which sometimes makes the photo awesome. Could I ever be as insightful as some of them? Then, I called the helpline.

Z.S.: What now...
Z.F.: You hang up the last time. What makes you think we are gonna help you?
Me: Enough with the angst. You know that you're bound to help me one way or another.
Z.S.: Why is it that you can't solve the simplest of problems huh? Why look at us as a way to escape?
Z.F.: *Grumble* Yeah whatever what's up?
Me: Dude, what the fuck wey, there's like a million photos here that are way better than mine. How the fuck am I gonna get noticed la in the exhibition..
Z.S.: Now that... is one hell of a fucked up mentality. Stupid faggot.
Z.F.: Basically Z.S. said everything I wanted to say so yeah.
Me: Huh?
Z.S.: Tell me, why did you join this exhibition, no why did you even start photography?
Z.F.: Is it because of fame?
Me: What the fuck? No fucking way it's for something as meaningless as fame bhaenchod... It's my passion, something that I will not be able to live without.
Z.S.: Is it just me or did you just answered your own question...
Z.F.: *sigh* Let me explain to you. You feel that these people have a higher level of insight than you do. Maybe they do but seriously, why give two fucks? Maybe they have a different view on things which may or may not be neccesarilly better than yours. Why care? You should just keep on living and thinking like you do and let them judge. If they think you suck, then fuck them. Don't you dare think that their judgement could bring you down. The only thing that can do that is yourself.
Me: Umm okay...
Z.S.: Sometimes, I fucking curse my luck for being stuck in you. LEMME OUT OF HERE!#

And I went home feeling good. The exhibition is this Thursday (4/06/ 2009) If anyone is interested, please come, feedback will be mucho appreciated. It ends on the 18th or the 22nd I can't remember. Now I need to fucking study... Aihh... Just when I thought all my problems were gone. That'd be too much to ask ey.

Song of the day: Just another day for you in Paradise by Phil Collins.
Dream of the day: I dreamt I shaved the front part of my fucking head! WTFFFFF!!!