Integrated Shit.

Wheee I haven't studied shit for the integrated exam. Wheee I'm fucking going crazy. Whee--*sob*

Anyways, enough with the sobbing/ laughing fits. Lectures are over and it may be of some importance to a few fucks here and there but me being the person that hardly steps a foot into the lecture hall lately, it doesn't make a fucking difference. I did go to the last lecture and was expecting some shit was gonna go on but... Lets just say I regretted the decision. Lectures rub me the wrong way. And my ass hurts whenever I sit in the hall for too long. That's an excuse, no?

I think I've just permanently damaged my triceps. You know that bulgy muscle at the back of your arm. Yeah, that one. I fell (Damn that moss!) and next thing I know, me muscle can hardly contract. Meh, it'll prolly be ok in a few days... weeks... years... Went to the beach just now with Kadir and my brother. We all felt a bit tensed up so a couple of minutes chilling by the sea should do some good. I don't know, I still feel tensed.

Scared shitless, yours truly is. Something happened. I won't be able to sleep in peace anymore. Sometimes, it just fucks me up thinking how some things could easily be avoided but I just let it happen. I mean, those things could ruin lives, not only mine but other's as well. Sigh. I've had enough of 'These things happen'. Some things shouldn't.

Song of the day:

Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd and Last Kiss by Pearl Jam. Hmmm... It's either Comfortably Numb or Free Bird for my funeral. Can't decide. Two of THE most awesome fucking songs ever made. Fuck the modern music. Yeah, fuck you modern shit.

Word of the day:

Abdomen

Original meaning taken from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.:

ab·do·men

Pronunciation:

\ˈab-də-mən, -ˌdō-; əb-ˈdō-mən, ab-\

Function:

noun

Etymology:

Middle French & Latin; Middle French, from Latin

Date:

1543

1: the part of the body between the thorax and the pelvis ; also : the cavity of this part of the trunk containing the chief viscera

2: the posterior section of the body behind the thorax in an arthropod

Definition from The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce

ABDOMEN, n. The temple of the god Stomach, in whose worship, with sacrificial rights, all true men engage. From women this ancient faith commands but a stammering assent. They sometimes minister at the altar in a half-hearted and ineffective way, but true reverence for the one deity that men really adore they know not. If woman had a free hand in the world's marketing the race would become graminivorous.

Dream of the day:

Spiky demon and blob thingy. Refer to last post with similar labels for more info.

Mieeennngggg.... Mieeenngggg.... Mieeeenggggg.... Mieeengggg... Mieeennngggg...

Inspector Abbas and the crazy Barney wannabe.

This, my fellow readers may not be funny if you read it but I was there and hell, my stomach can't take anymore laughing today.

*After Physiology class*

Me: Weyh, Abbas-
Zap: ...
Me: Abang aku ngan Has... Abbas...
Zap: ...
Me: Ahem, Abang aku ngan Has mane doh?
Zap: Hahaha, Ko tau tak, bile ko kate Abbas aku trus terbayang inspector yang tegas.
Me: Hahahahahahahaha What the fuck sial.

*A few steps away*

Me: *Gelak2 sket coz image inspector Abbas dah nari2 lam palehotak*

Tetibe si Arab/ Barney Wannabe: HEEEEEEEEEEEE--> (Senyuman besar tahap dewa karma wijaya di kamar mandi yang ditaburkan seribu satu kelopak bunge melur dan dikelilingi harimau yang sedang menari scottish dance) tangan macam nak peluk orang sampai tulang rusuk patak bersepai.

*A few steps away*

Me and Zap: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

*On the way to Nasir's*

Me and Zap: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

And that is all. I still get fucking laughing fits from the image of that fucking Barney fuck. He even wears bloody purple.

Anyways, what's new? Hmmmm, Exams is a few days away and I haven't studied shit. Which is bad, me thinks? I have lost all willpower to do anything medically related, well except for killing frogs; that is considered under torture and even that is gone now, my mind is too tired for anything. I'd love to just wake up one day and find myself on a secluded island which have an internet line, surrounded by hot chics with starfishes and coconuts as... uh.. you get the point. And my very own personal mamak who gets his raw material by doing the mamak dance. *shrug* I'm pretty confused right now, something happened and that's why I'm writing these fantasies of mine. If you can't except it, fuck you.

*Bitch talk section*

Lyke OMG! Do you lyke effing noe tat Milo is lyke t3h mosh aw3some f00d next to lyke.. coff3e? Lyke to-e-lly righttt... I'm lyke, so effing loving... uh.. hahaha, what wuz I talking bout?

Note: The bitch who has officially invaded my blog has now lost her train of thought.

Palestine Poster.

Finally it's done. A bit of editing with the ever so trustworthy Picasa and Photoshop, and this is the final result. What you ask? What? You really wanna know? Desperately? Truly?

*Drum Rolls*


TADAHHHH!!!! Hahaha powertrip, tell me bout it. This poster here is the result of Kadir's idea at first and then it grew and grew till, um, well, read below.

A history on how the poster came to be.

1. Kadir got an idea.
2. Got the basic shots.
3. Started to steal stuff from DArt
4. Photoshopped em together.
5. I edited it in Picasa, basically just added shadows, a bit of blurring. Okay, a lot of blurring.
6. Kadir and me started to gather ideas, kinda like a brainstorming session.
7. Took what was good, argued a bit, agreed on a lot, badabim badabum, there you have it.

Click to full view. Will be printing this as soon as possible, which means when Kadir and I reach a mutual understanding to get off our asses and go to Ibrahimiyah. Who knows how long that'll take.

Boys and Girls, this is a perfect example of how a small idea could grow and materialise into something that might not be beautiful but it being there is an achievement nonetheless.

Toodles.

Words, Music, Dreams.

Word of the day:

ABATIS:

Original meaning taken from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

Pronunciation: \ˈa-bə-ˌtē, ˈa-bə-təs\

Function:

noun

Inflected Form(s):

plural ab·a·tis \ˈa-bə-ˌtēz\ or ab·a·tis·es \ˈa-bə-tə-səz\

Etymology:

French, from abattre to strike down, slaughter, from Old French abatre

Date:

1766

: a defensive obstacle formed by felled trees with sharpened branches facing the enemy


Definition from The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce

ABATIS, n. Rubbish in front of a fort, to prevent the rubbish outside
from molesting the rubbish inside.


Song of the day:

Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Black Magic Woman by Carlos Santana

Cocaine by Jimmy Hendrix

Well, basically, Free Bird is just plain fucking unadulterated awesome-ness to the fucking max. I'm sure that if I listen to it non-stop I'll fucking get high from the solo. Sigh. Black Magic Woman is... ummm... Santana. Enough said. Cocaine, well, whatever Jimmy Hendrix plays will sound good nonetheless, even Mary Had A Little Lamb would. Oh and Free Bird will, without a doubt will be playing during my funeral. Fuck you, I'm gonna have music on my funeral.

Dream of the day:

Okay shit. I've been having these recurrent nightmares/ dreams about this spiky demon thingy jumping on my bed at my house in Melaka. This fucker has a face that changes every bloody time it jumps on my bed. THE FUCKING HORROR!!! I'm serious, it might be coz I'm sleeping on the wrong side of my bloody deltoid or something but hell, that is one scary shitty fucktard. Maybe it's them spiky aliens... *X-files theme song*

Oh and everytime before I got to sleep or easier said, being in the 'mamai' state, this dough-like blob thingy appears in my mind. Then it changes, stretches, takes a form, whatever fuck, according to my thoughts in said state.

What the hell is Egypt doing to me... I need fucking help...




















GLORY GLORY BARCELONA! NGAHAAAHAAHAHAHAAAHA!

Bad, real bad.

Head spinning,
Throat dry,
Confusion and Paranoia
Hand in hand, havoc.

Weak legs dragging over the sand,
Fatigued and lost,
Death looms a hair's breadth away,
There it stayed, avoided, sneered.

The bells ring and
Awakening from the slumber,
Into another gloomy day,
Into another degenerating day.

One,
Two,
Three.

The razors are ready,
Body shivers in anticipation,
The years blazes by,
And death

Death stood and watched from a distance.

Who's Right?

In the spirit of supporting the Palestine war, I can't help but think.

Who's right?

Truly, in all honesty, who is? Is it the Palestinians; the ones who have been chased violently out of their homes or does the Israelis have a really good reason for doing whatever the hell they are doing?

I don't know. However, if you have not noticed, I said Israelis, not Jews. If you blame the Jews, then you are one fucked up motherfucker. I can say there are loads of fucked motherfuckers surrounding me where I am now.

Let's look at it this way. Currently, everybody is blaming Jews for what's happening, boycotting their products and insulting them.

1. Why do you blame the Jews? Are you sure that they are the one thats behind all that is happening? Even so, how can you blame a whole population for the sins of a few fuckers. This is exactly the same as labelling all Muslims as terrorist because there are a few extremists running around. You defend yourselves from this statement by saying the extremists are not muslim beause of their sins bla, bla, bla. Has it occured to you that the Jews use the same reason. No, it doesn't and you hypocrites make me fucking sick.
2. There was an incident where a company run by Jews decided to support Israel in the war. I have no idea why this enraged so many. They support their own religion and sees nothing wrong with it. Put yourselves in their shoes. You would do the same. You will support your religion's cause in every way you can. So I ask you again, why are you angry?
3. The Jews in Israel don't want this to happen any more than we do. They hold protests, they are rooting for peace between the nations. Most people are so ignorant that they refuse to believe such a thing and label Jews as evil, tyrants even the servant of the Devil himself. What the fuck? How is it rational that one should judge another by the religion he or she follows? If one needs to judge, he/she needs to look past the outer superficial layer and analyse the heart of the person. Not the religion, not the race, not the speech. Many fail to do so.

I am not going to support any side if supporting means looking at the other side with total disgust and treating them like trash. I support humanity, I support the ones that needs supporting; Jews or Muslims, it doesn't make a difference to me. Hate me for that if you want, I really could care less.

A silent Friday morning.

Today I woke up, switched on my computer and logged into facebook.

Today I got some bad news.

Today I spent the whole day thinking.

Today, my teacher died.

Her name is Miss Chua. She is my acounting teacher and believe me, I fucking despise her. Note that I used the word despise, not hate. Be aware of the difference. When I got the news, I wasn't saddened, I wasn't going to cry or shit like that. I was just... shaken. No, no, that's not it... I was taken aback.

When I was in form 4, I hated accounts and I told my mom I wanted to drop the subject. She refused, saying that accounts was important in any career, this way, nobody will cheat you of your money. Me being me, I told my mom I wasn't going to drop the subject but behind her back I skipped accounts for over half a year. Then, I got caught and well, simply said, I was back into class. Still, i was defiant and just slept in every one of her class.

Now she's gone. It made me realise what it would feel if my students were just like me. I guess it sucked knowing that I never had a chance to make ammends. I kept on postponing the event to later, even when I can do it at that very moment.

She is one pious lady, I can vouch for her on that issue. At times, she will tell me things like:

'I know you are not Christian and I respect your religion but can you listen to what I have to say eventhough I'm saying what's in the Bible?'

That was how much she respected other religions. I truly respect her.

This song always reminds me of death, and I believe it's a fitting tribute.

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be travelling on, now,
cause theres too many places Ive got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldnt be the same.
cause Im as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I cant change.

Bye, bye, its been a sweet love.
Though this feeling I cant change.
But please dont take it badly,
cause lord knows Im to blame.
But, if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldnt be the same.
Cause Im as free as a bird now,
And this bird youll never change.
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I cant change.
Lord help me, I cant change.

Free bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd.

In memory of Miss Chua.

I am sorry.

Corpora lente augescent cito extinguuntur.
Bodies grow slowly but die quickly.

Trucido.

Trucido.

To kill cruelly.


And that, boys and girls shall be our topic on this fateful Tuesday morning. Close your textbooks and burn them for no books will help you.

1. How to kill cruelly.

• The most important thing is to analyse who/what. This will prove to be the most important, I repeat, the most important aspect. Why should you analyse? A couple of reasons actually. You can just go around stabbing wildly but frankly speaking, that won't be too fun now would it? I thought so. Basically the purpose of analysing is to search for means to inflict the maximum amount of pain without breaking a sweat. You save time, and you get the job done.

• So how do you analyse? Ever heard of keeping your enemies close and your friends far away? Yeah, fuck that. Society today does the very opposite of that and my fellow students, please do not embarass me by not taking advantage of that. One can only undersand another by being in close proximity with each other. If you have to eat from the same plate, sleep on the same bed, fuck the same girl, do it. Do so by any means necessary. Once you are close, it'll be a piece of fucking cake to know the target.
• Now that we are done with ways to analyse, we shall move on to the next issue which is to gain the trust of the target. Again, do so through any fucking means. This is crucial. You may skip this but wouldn't you want your target to look at you during his dying moments and say 'Why?'. It is the most satisfying sensation that a person could have. Again, gain the trust. Moving on.
  
• Up till now, we have analysed the target's weaknesses and we have gained his/her trust. So what's left to do is to gut the chicken. Let us take an example.

Mr. X is 23, weighs 78 kgs, single and is a government servant. He has fallen for a fellow co-worker whom he is very attached to, a family man and wants to lose weight.

• He is 23, therefore, he is very susceptible to sexually oriented appeal. For the ladies, these vermins will be easy targets.
• He wants to lose weight; you be the friend who encourages him to do so. He will be grateful forever and therefore, it adds more spice when killing him.
• This is the most important part. He is madly in love with his co-worker.
• A family man; an oppurtunity not to be wasted.

• Now, let's crack this shell open shall we. You at the back, Mr. X should be your victim since you have the appeal. In this case, we do not want to jeopardise his relationship with his co-worker. Therefore, be as friendly as possible but know your limits. Stay friends. Random friendly messages and that's it. Once he has accepted you as a good friend, start encouraging him about his weight. Take him to the gym etc etc, until you have branded your name in his brain as the one who helped him stand up. When you think that he holds you very dear to his heart, go for the kill. You should also help in his relationship with the co-worker, reasons are stated below.
  

• Do not expose yourself just yet. Kill the co-worker. Leave him be. I repeat, LEAVE HIM BE. Let him suffer, let him feel the pangs of pain and let him lose all hope in life. Now you help him up to his feet again.
  

• Keep up to date with him. Once he is recovering, kill his family. Preferably one by one, it adds more to the mounting pain. Keep on helping him, if you are a woman, he will probably fall in love with you, bla, bla, bla, and when there is nobody left to wipe out, his turn is next. By this time, he will probably say 'Why? I trusted you, I loved you!' and you will gain the highest form of satisfaction.

Now class, we are done but I would like to set this as your assignment topics. You shall elaborate on your target and ways in which you took to cleanse this earth from him. Points will be awarded to the ones who are most creative. That is all. I will be expecting the results in three months. Thank you and good luck.

Jangan dikenang/ Don't reminisce.

Pergilah sayang jauh dariku,
Larilah ke arah cahaya yang terang benderang,
Selamatkan dirimu, janganlah layu,
Kerna kini cahayaku kian malap.

Janganlah dikau tangisi pemergianku,
Diriku, jasadku bukan lagi milikmu,
Hanyalah tanah sebagai sahabat,
Pergilah sayang, jauh dariku.

Rembesan air matamu menghiris hatiku,
Janganlah dikau menambah penderitaanku,
Hentikanlah tangisanmu sayang,
Hadiahkanlah diriku yang hina ini senyuman manismu.

Mataku bagaikan tasik yang keruh,
Namun aku yaking mawarku masih harum,
Mudahkanlah pemergianku sayang,
Pergilah, jangan dikenang masa lampau.

Pergilah sayang jauh dariku,
Larilah ke arah cahaya yang terang benderang,
Selamatkan dirimu, janganlah layu,
Kerna kini cahayaku kian malap.

Leave my side, love,
Run towards the bright welcoming light,
Save yourself from further torture my rose,
For the candle in my heart is dying.

Do not mourn over my passing,
My body, my life is no longer yours,
For now the earth is my only faithful companion,
Go my love, far away from me.

Your tears only serve to pierce my heart,
Stop, do not add to my misery,
Wipe your tears my sweet spring flower,
Bless me with your innocent smile.

The clouds over my eyes, a murky lake,
But I know, I know that you, my blossom, are still as beautiful,
Ease my passing, my sweet radiant rose,
Go, do not reminisce.

Leave my side, love,
Run towards the bright welcoming light,
Save yourself from further torture my rose,
For the candle in my heart is dying.


A/N: I'd love to say something MarySue like right now but that would just destroy this poem. (The author supresses his urge to go OMFG! TATS LYKE TEH AWESOMENEZZ) A-hem.

Yes, this is my very first time writing in BM/ Bahasa Melayu/ Bahasa Malaysia/ Bahasa Mashimaro. So yeah, if it sucks, comment on it, if it hits your OMFG!-TATS-LYKE-TEH-AWESOMENEZZ button then again, comment. Without the MarySue thingy. I'll release them Munchkins if you do. I'm serious.

Anyways, again, spontaneous writing, did this during the fucked up excuse for a subject i.e. Skills. What the fuck would I need to X-Ray people for? It just occured to me how I have never written anything in BM/ Bahasa Melayu/ Bahasa Malaysia/ Bahasa Mashimaro since lets see, forever? A bit of brain-storming and voila, there you have it, a really mushy poem. Bleh.

Oh and to Tharma:

HOW YOU LIKE THAT YOU MAN-BITCH ASSLICKER? MY COMMAND IN BM IS AS AWESOME AS ANY FUCKING LANGUAGE!!! HAH!

A-A-A-hem.


Copyrighted to SadisticParadise.

This is our home.

I ran and ran,
Past the skyscrapers and old huts,
The concrete jungles and corruption,
Away from the sins, away from it all.

In sadness and loneliness I collapse,
Acid gnaws my muscle and tears run free,
My chest explodes and away the black butterflies hovered,
Is this the end, is this death?

An old man hobbled by,
With a nudge of his cane and a palm he helped me up,
'Come my child, let's go far away,
To the place where there is no corruption, that is where we belong'.

I thought and I thought,
And I was left confused,
'Where is that?' I asked,
Somewhere hidden under the concrete, in the office, in our dreams?

The old man left a trail in the sand,
A few quick glances and he was gone,
The trail stopped at the edge of the cliff,
To the naked eye it did, to mine, it stretched further.

I understood and I smiled,
Brushed the leaves and twigs off me,
Ran along the trail and closed my eyes,
I felt the wind caress me and say 'Careful, child.'

The trail exploded into a million colours,
Each pointing towards the path that was meant for me,
At the end, the old man beckoned,
Come my child, we are close.

I ran with all my might,
Grasped the extended hand,
Opened my eyes and I screamed out loud,
All I saw was the sea and the rocks and the bodies laid to rot.

Again the old man said,
'Come my child, let's go far away,
To the place where there is no corruption, that is where we belong'.
I grasped his hand and thought.

This is where we belong.


A/N: O.o I know, what the fuck right... I need help... Hahaha... Anyways, feedback; as always, A guitar will be shoved up your ass with a bucket of salt to go with it. Le Sigh...

The Day I Lost My Life.

Life.

So many ways to describe it. It is abstract yet, it is so well defined. The word is used millions of times every single day but it can be summed up into a mere object.

Life.

I lived my life knowing that if things go smoothly in the morning, it's going to be a good day. For example, when I was in school, I knew how the day was going to unfold just by waking up and going to the kitchen. Breakfast will decide. If it was oats/ half boiled eggs then hell, it was going to be a really bad day. If it was some fancy cereal i.e. koko crunch and the likes of it, it was going to be a good day.

As I grew up, I developed the habit of not going out of the house unless my 3 jeans pockets are filled with my phone, cigarettes and a lighter, wallet and keys.

Yesterday.

Someone stole my jeans.

Yesterday.

I lost my life.

(The author takes time off to calm himself down.)

I wasn't angry. Why should I be? It was because of my foolishness and carelessness that led to the incident. So I did not blame the thief, I did not blame the surrounding people, I only blamed myself. It was the right thing to do. However, I was saddened because I knew that by losing my wallet and phone especially, I will have to do something I hate.

Depend.

I hate it. I hate of all things, to depend on another person, whether it be a brother or a friend. It is such a despicable act. My soul burns each time I have to ask a favour from one person. It... *sigh*

When the incident happened, I surprised myself because I could keep my spirits up and keep calm. I always thought that I would flip in the event that I lost my wallet but I didn't. I keep telling myself, maybe the person who stole it needed it more than me, maybe he/she was so desperate that he/she needed to steal. Wallahualam. What happened, happened. I can only learn from my mistake.

It made me suffer. I have yet to eat anything today. Still, whoever stole it, I forgive you, may Allah forgive you. That is all I can afford to do.

It's when life is not fucking me up that I should make the primetime news- Sukhvinder Singh Siddhu

The results, finally.

H
Hmmm... These are the pics that I got from the trip to the fort. Sunsets are awesome and depressing at the same time, kind of like a double edged sword. Enjoy and please, please, please, pretty fucking please, I WANT YOUR FEEDBACK!

Elvis/Kade/Retard XDXD
Ni Kade main ngan anak munyet.


Sunsets and lovers

Seaweeds with the will to live

Fisherman's horizon

The cotton candy Messiah.

The Sun's lover.
Today, we renew our vow.
The promise is made.
Awkwardness of situations..
Le Awesome Bicycle/Tricycle
Let's skin the kitten.
Everyone needs a good nap now and then eh..


I want to take this oppurtunity to thank Thirah, Baem, Afiq, Kade and Nas for actually wasting their time to accompany me to said place. And putting up with the Arabs along the way. Thanks once again.

Fred.

The one who pulls the strings.
He laughs in the shadows after his puppet faces the punishment.
He is Fred.

He has no control over the body he is in.
So he manipulates the mind.
He whispers and he sings and he screams.

Fred is evil.
With the help of his puppet, he silently plots the apocalypse.
He is waiting.

One day Fred will launch his plan.
And he will do so in such elegance that will stupefy everybody.
For now Fred sleeps in his puppet.




But he is waiting.

Fred is a fucked up creature living in a fucked up human being. He gets bored all the time so he plans on how to prank people more effectively. Any questions he has will be transmitted to his puppet's brain and his puppet does all the asking without knowing why.

So yeah, a little tribute to the dick that lives in Sukh's mind. Now you owe me coffee mate. Moving on. The thought of Fred scares me.

I went to some fort to get some photography done with Afiq, Thirah, Kadir and... uh... I forgot the other name (The author is begging for forgiveness)... Anyways, we took a lot of shots and I got a few good ones. Will be editing them later if I'm not lazy. The percentage of me posting them here is very, very the minor.

Right now Sukh is drawing cute fluffy pink elephants with spikes in between their tusks and My Endless Love is on. Disturbing.

I meant this post to be something bout Pink Floyd. Instead I Fred extended his arm and punched me in the fucking face.

What a pain...

Oh and there's a doodle coming soon, it's bout time I introduced Mr. Ilikechickensoupandiknowkarateandcankickyourbuttinasecondlollmaorakakaka.

Decisons, decisions, fucking decisions.

Something I hate. Among the things that I hate when people ask me to decide:

• Where to eat. I don't give a fuck where, take me there and I will eat.
  
• Which dress to wear. Does this need any fucking explanation? Retards, I swear to god... Wear what you want, if you are so concerned by what people think of you, don't wear shit. I might just make some people happy. Who knows.
  
• What to do. The worse. Seriously.
  
• Where to meet. I refuse to justify myself in this.
  

So yeah, this is prolly due to me being the easy going type. You wanna go somewhere 100 miles away, by foot with no water and food supplies, I'll say; right on mafucker. Metaphorically speaking that is. Still, I don't care. I follow the flow, life is so much easier that way. However this only applies to decisions and not in any other part of my life. I will never bow down and roll over for some cretin. Bleh.

A few days ago, I got some news which brought me crashing down to reality. Something that I have believed all my life but when the moment came, I did not apply it. So here comes Z.S. and Z.F. to assist me in making a crucial decision.

Z.S.: What the fuck... You still thinking bout this ah? Let it go la, a shitload of fish in le ocean.

Z.F.: No, you should keep following your plan. Who knows, it might just work. You're not outta the game yet.

Me: I know, but somehow, what Z.S. is saying makes real sense. I should jsut forget bout it and go pursue some other more promising shit.

Z.S.: And I win again, as always. *Takes chalk and draws a line on blackboard* That makes my score.... Infinite. HAH!

Z.F.: Fucking asshole. Anyways, come on la, you really think it's that bad ah? Just chill, let things take it's course and without you realising it, things will be fine.

Me: Z.S., you never win. I have the last say which makes your score zero. Z.F., that's too fairytale like you bhaenchod, what are you, a storybook or something.

Z.S.: So this is how you treat the guy who helped you throughout your life. Fuck you man. Seriously, fuck you.

Z.F.: Don't blame me, you're the one who created me.

Me: Okay, whatever fuck la. Final answer.

Z.S.: You seem to be forgetting that you were the one who made this happen. If not because of you and your lame ass effort to try and 'salvage' things, it wouldn't have turned out this way. I say, face the fucking music and bloody forget it. Go for something more plausible. Everybody knows it was never meant to work out anyway.

Z.F.: I say chill. You know --- (insert suitable something) best. So you have to trust yourself and --- and let the river flow.

Me: I know I was the one that made thing the way it is and I have no fucking regrets. What I did was fucking important to avoid further complications. You know that very well. And if i let the river flow too freely, the fish escapes.

Z.S.: You did not have to do that. You knew that. And you could've fucking seen what would happen but you chose the easy way out. I stick with my point of view.

Z.F.: If the fish escapes, you poison the water. Simple.

Me: I could've fucking seen, yes i know, but would I be happy with what I saw? I doubt that. And I ain't no river poisoner. Thats fucked up coming from you. Go away.

In the end, I took both of their points. I'll pursue something that I have a chance on but at the same time I'll still chill and see what happens in six years time. I won't let it go but I won't poison the river also. Meh, it's complicated. Fuck complications.

Sleepless Nights 8 - Friendly Monsters.

They wince as the children scream and call for their parents help. Under the bed, in the closet and in the woods they cry and stay depressed. They only wanted to play. They want friends too. Why are humans so cruel and heartless they ask themselves. When humans want something, they bawl and they throw tantrums until they get them. They can't possibly do that, their parents taught them better than to do so. Still... They are always lonely, walking around in the woods alone, with only birds to keep them company. Or hiding in a crammed cupboard just cause they are shy creatures. Some of them even have to stay under the bed with spiders and insects as neighbours...

To the friendly, polite, slightly hairy monsters.

They want friends too.

I'd love to make a sketch of that. Hmmm ideas anyone? Anyways, just some random writings so that I can worm my way out of this fucking block. I never realise how bad it can affect me. Dammit all.

It's Kat's birthday today/ yesterday, seriously, you are OLD! Haha, and I'm still young and beautiful. Suck on that! XD.

Ahem.

Anyways, I can't believe how lazy I am nowadays. haven't been attending lectures, I stay at home surfing the internet, eat and sleep. What the fuck... If this goes on, I'll prolly grow into the bed's fabric. *Shudder shudder* I'll change. I think (The author winces as he rips a former bedsheet off his back, preventing more skin and muscle to grow into it.)

I downloaded a shitload of e-books just for fun. Most of them are old books, the new ones are still copyrighted to the authors. Again, I approve of copyleft-ing, as long as you ask for permission. Les Miserable is one of em but I won;t be reading it anytime soon. There's too much words in it. Bleh.

I can play the guitar AND sing at the same time now! Le Gasping Fishazoid! This is a miracle. Haha, yes, I'm over excited, fuck you if you think I'm childish. What am I saying... I am childish but just for the fun of it, Fuck you anyways. Still, theres a lot too learn, rock chords, finger-breaking chords, some chords which have 'sus' in it and so on. What the fuck is a 'sus' anyway?

I'm dying without my external. I mean, fuck the movies. Fuck the porn. Fuck the mangas. What I really need right now is my portfolio. *Sob* There's an exhibition coming up in which I am supposed to enter but without my pictures... Try picturing boiled veggies. Soft and yucky. Okay, maybe not yucky but.... You get le point. <---- Ego

I believe that is all.

A tribute to Mother Earth.

No more,
Choking and sputtering,
The fabric of time and space tore,
She was dying.

She could feel it,
Digging into her skin,
Gnawing deeper and deeper into the never-ending pit,
They didn't even have a hint.

She blessed and she nurtured,
She supplied and she protected,
But they reaped and they tortured,
They drained, they smiled and they accepted.

Now they run around crying,
'She is dying!' they scream,
In vain they were trying,
They refuse to give her back to Him.

When all hope was lost,
They sat down and fell silent,
Till everything was covered with moss,
And filled the imaginary urn.

Mother Earth closed her eyes.

A/N: Spontaneous writing, took bout 8 minutes, and I believe it suck. May be redoing this without rhyming it. And now, lets destroy earth.

Copyrighted to SadisticParadise 2009

Ovid

Such was the burden of my plaint when, on a sudden, Cupid lowered his quiver and drew forth therefrom arrows to pierce my heart. Then, bending his curving bow with a will upon his knee, he said, "Poet, here is matter for thy song." Ah, hapless me, Love's arrow did but all too surely find its mark. On fire am I, and Love, and none but Love now rules my heart that ne'er was slave till now. Now let six feet my book begin, and let it end in five. Farewell fierce War, farewell thy measure too. Only with the myrtle of the salt sea's marge shalt thou bind thy fair head, my Muse, who needs must tune thy numbers to eleven feet.

-Publius Ovidius Naso; 43 BC- 17/18 AD. Taken from Ars Amatoria

It's a really good piece of writing I think (This is from an endless book, I really couldn't read it). He got exiled from writing that piece if I'm not mistaken on charges of debauchery; the community then wasn't willing to accept what he wrote. Ars Amatoria is a book on sexual intercourse, you get the point now. Moving on. And no, the text above has nothing to do with sex, unless your mind is thinking of some things. Pity you.

Anyways, what's been new. Hmmm, can't really think of anything, life has become really boring nowadays. As if living my life as a routine doesn't seem bad enough, I get bloody boredom as a companion now. Oh well, can't really complain.

Haven't really watched the news lately. It's as if everything will turn out to be what I expect. Wars here and there, some celebrity trying to do some publicity act and of course, more wars. Basically you can guess what's happening just by listening to the background sound. What's happening to the world today. Still, I stand guilty for taking chaos as a fun thing. Lincolns, you know what I'm saying. I'm in the process of writing something. I need to recollect all the point which will prolly take me a month... Okay, a year to be safe. Hah!

I forgot all about this blog... Now I'm continuing after a few hours... Talked to Sukh, the dude is in the same boat as me. Insomnia and boredom, bloody kryptonite... I haven't been in the mood to talk to anybody lately, my mind seems to be clogged up and nothing can get through or get out... Hmmm... I finally met Dr. Sabry but i wasn't too happy bout it (The author told himself that meeting a big fat man would never make him happy. Ever. Ever ever. Bleh.). He wanted me to confirm the people who signed up for the exhibition but fail to even commit to the act. I'd like to take this opportunity and say thank you for complicating my life. Now I'm gonna have to hunt each of you down when I've already got a shitload in my To-Do List. Thanks.

Anyways, enough with the angst. I need to find ways to release the mounting stress. Would love to go fishing but I doubt I'd have the time. I wish those carefree times back in Malaysia would come back. Le Sighums. Yes, they won't, I know, tell me that moving on is the best thing to do and I'll block you out from anything I do. Still, those were the best times.

Oh and one last thing.

I'm awesome and i make good soup.

That is all.

Shoo, cretins.

Sleepless Nights 7 - Wise words from a mother.

Right now...

I...

Am...

So...

Fucking...

Addicted...

To...

Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam...

ARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!! It pisses me off on how people could make such beautiful poetry! Fuck! (The author is being jealous due to a writer's blog he has suffered recently.) I mean, okay, take a look at Wild World.

Now that I've lost everything to you
You say you wanna start something new
And it's breakin' my heart you're leavin'
Baby, I'm grievin'
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there

Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
It's hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
and I'll always remember you like a child, girl

You know I've seen a lot of what the world can do
And it's breakin' my heart in two
Because I never wanna see you sad, girl
Don't be a bad girl
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

Baby, I love you
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware.

As I said, genius. The way it rhymed without being awkward... That's every poets dream... Pure ecstasy... I believe this next song shows how much of a genius he is... Lady D'Arbanville

My Lady d'Arbanville, why do you sleep so still?
I'll wake you tomorrow
and you will be my fill, yes, you will be my fill.

My Lady d'Arbanville why does it grieve me so?
But your heart seems so silent.
Why do you breathe so low, why do you breathe so low,

My Lady d'Arbanville why do you sleep so still?
I'll wake you tomorrow
and you will be my fill, yes, you will be my fill.

My Lady d'Arbanville, you look so cold tonight.
Your lips feel like winter,
your skin has turned to white, your skin has turned to white.

My Lady d'Arbanville, why do you sleep so still?
I'll wake you tomorrow
and you will be my fill, yes, you will be my fill.

La la la la la....

My Lady d'Arbanville why do you grieve me so?
But your heart seems so silent.
Why do you breathe so low, why do you breathe so low,

I loved you my lady, though in your grave you lie,
I'll always be with you
This rose will never die, this rose will never die.

I loved you my lady, though in your grave you lie,
I'll always be with you
This rose will never die, this rose will never die.

Aihhh... talk bout random... *pats imaginary self on the back*

Anyways, to more serious matters. It was mother's day yesterday. Yes, very serious. (The author frowns) I topped up my credit and called my mom. In less than 2 minutes, I rephrase, in less than 2 fucking fast minutes, the 10 genehs flew up in the sky and danced with the angels and slept in the clouds. Just like that. However, my Mom did leave a piece of wisdom. It went like this:

Me: Ma, Happy Mother's Day!!!
Ma: Hahaha thank you! Lame tak dengar from you guys. How's everything?
Me: Umm okay je kot, cam biase la.
Ma: Ohh good good, so-
Vodaphone robot: Your credit has been depleted.
Me: ... *supresses the urge to throw phone off the 11th floor*

*Intermission*

Phone: *Welcome to the jungle song plays*
Me: Hello.
Ma: Ha, got disconnected.
Me: Tau, I nyer credit habis.
Ma: Oh, haha, I thought mine ran out. How's Ucin and Ika?
Me: Ok je. *proceeds with discussion like normal son and mother*

Me: Ma, Bu Zahidah cakap you nak jual rumah Melaka betul ke?
Ma: Yeah, why?
Me: Uhhh may I ask why?
Ma: (The author forgot her response but is sure what matters comes next)
Me: Oh.
Ma: Kenape?
Me: Nah, just that 9 years in a house does a lot to a person.
Ma: Haha... Yes, I know but sometimes in life, you have to stand up and say that 'No, this is what needs to be done and I must do it.'. It may be the right choice or the wrong one but what's important is that you decide at that point and make that decision. You will have to deal with the outcome later on. So the time will always come for you to make a stand and you have to. Okay?
Me: Yeah alright.

I thought of what she said. A lot. And it made me realise how wise and rational she is. I... admire her... Will I ever have that kind of wisdom? Will I ever get to a point where people have the same admiration as I have for my mother? I don't know, you tell me. I sure hope I do.

Oh now Sleepless Nights comes with a title. Just for the readers to get a vague idea of what the post is going to be about.

Now, off to read Faust by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe. Another fucking genius. *Cracks knuckles*

Despair.

Stared at the moon and clung to hope,
Tears run dry, the steady stream ceased to flow,
Stared at the moon wishing to die,
Raindrops pelted down, liquid swords pierce through.

Entered oblivion, the energy left,
The angels averted their gaze,
Alone in life, I clawed at hope,
The shackles bit, bound, smothered.

I perished along with my dreams,
The inferno deep in my soul,
Ate and ate its way,
Till the light had nothing left to nurture.

The torment that I balled up,
Shattered the glass dome and erupted,
Escaped through the cracks in my eyes,
Showed the world who I truly am.

The devil rejoiced, God rejected my prayers,
Self-abhorred I wander these pure lands,
Sick and tired, the shadows of my past haunt me,
For my sins, I endear this eternal suffering.

I lay down to rest,
Eyelids flutter but slumber denied my presence,
Am I that wretched, am I that inhuman?
That the living cringes in my presence?

And so I continue in search of the mirage of salvation,
To regain my broken wings and fly up again,
Erase my mistakes, forget my past,
End this despair, end this torture.

Again, old work. Copyrighted to SadisticParadise.

Anyways, had a presentation today. I swear, the lecturer hates me. Still, being ignorant does wonders to one's yout- I mean... Whatever...

DevianArt is fucking up. I had to wait an entire hour just to copy this piece. My external broke down and me being under the impression that external's are immortal, stored everything in there. Le Shietzz... I'll keep on throwing it around just to see if it'll work again... *crash*

What's new in the world apart from the various killings and wars? Well, one thing was worth noting.

The Pope is on a journey to the Middle East.

I like this. Not because I'm secretly a Christian (Some shallow fucks might be under the impression that I am.) but because the Pope is meeting Muslim leaders and conversing with them about various things. This is what I think a true leader does. You meet people who are different from you and talk to them and you accept them. You don't just brush it away just because you think you are right. This way you correct yourselves and you clear any doubts that said people may have impose on yourself.

I look around today and it disgusts me to see how people are trying to act like leaders when they have no place in their hearts for acceptance and tolerability. They go around cursing others who they think have strayed off the path he/she thinks is right. Worst of all, he/she feels good about it because it makes him/her think that he/she has done a deed. What foolishness. Agonizing. It's just agonizing to see people like this. Anyway, about the Pope, I think he is doing a great job to promote inter-religion love.

Seriously, the hate among religion and race nowadays is just mind boggling. I'm sorry to say this but it's much more evident in Malays. This are among the things that bug me:

1. A muslim must not in any way touch, read or think about the Bible and a non-muslim must not touch etc etc about the holy Qur'an also.
   
2. People who are not Malay are all inferior to Malays.
3. A Malay must put the blame on a non-Malay.

I have read the Bible. I think it's really good reading material and one can learn so much from it. If you think just by reading a Bible it will make you a christian then you are a fucking snail. About to be run over by a lorry. Bout non-Malay being inferior that's fucking idiotic. My best friend is a Punjabi and he is much more knowledgeable and good hearted. He evens understands most of the major religions to a certain extent. Why can't you? Bout the blaming part, it happens way too much to go unnoticed. Any fucking fault and it gets blamed on someone else of another race/religion. Enough said.

Sigh. The world today. It can get worse but I do not want to be apart of it when it does. Prolly go crazy or start killing off scum. Hmmmm. I'll... sharpen my knives now... Just in case...

Note: This entry is not in any way directed to anybody. If you think got hurt reading this (Truth hurts, huh?), then you can change yourself or ignore. I can't change what you are, only you have the right to do it. Again, If you take offense, go fuck yourself.

Sleepless Nights 6

Pure bliss.

Morning air entering a sleep deprived lung... With the waves of the calm sea to compliment the feeling... Best of friends there with you, well not in a metaphysical sense but still... a guitar... and pink floyd.

I repeat.

Pure Bliss.

The Man and the Moon.

On that cloudless night,
The moon shone bright,
'T was all but an ugly sight,
To bring tears it might.

It brought about a tale of romance,
Of a man with a second chance,
He who only wanted a dance,
On a night of romantic trance.

He feel in love with the moon,
He thought he'd obtain it soon,
Of all he hated noon,
This occurred in the month of June.

He tried to rope it down,
Tried to lure it with sound,
He wanted to escape but he's bound,
By his love to the full moon that's round.

He went mad in September,
The moon was all he'd remember,
His love was like an ember,
Could never be extinguished even with water.

Finally under the moonlight,
His heart thumping and his throat tight,
Lifted his gun to end his fight,
Squeezed the trigger without any might.

They found him the next day,
In the field of lilies he lay,
In silence they pray,
Oh God, please keep this evil at bay.

This a tale of romance,
Of a man with a second chance,
He who only wanted a dance,
On a night of romantic trance.

A/N: I love this poem. I don't know why but I feel a strong attraction towards it... It's weird because it's spontaneous writing, all of my writings are... Yet this one is the only one that I keep on thinking about every time, without fail. Ask me what poem I have written, this is the first one that will pop out of my mouth first. Probably coz it rhymes... Hmmm... Still, there are flaws, i realise that but me being me, I'd rather read mangas instead rather than edit this. Bleh.

Ciow.

What if.

On my way back from Amar's house a few hours/days/years/decades (depends on when you read this.) ago, I waited for the tram. And waited. And waited. Okay, I'll stop, this is not the purpose of this post. Anyway, when it came, I got on it and thought for awhile on why the fuck is the tram so fucking full when it's already fucking 7.00 in the evening. I felt like shouting:

Don't you guys have fucking families?! Wives to make love to?! Pets to kick around?! Kids to be used for target practice?!

But then again, visions of me being tied down onto the tram tracks wasn't that appealing so I acted against my will and shut up. Again, this is not the main point of this post. What is, is coming up next.

After a few stops, the tram stopped somewhere and people got down bla3 and people got in. What stole my attention was this man. He was probably going to be 50 in a few years and looked like he doesn't have a home. He carried a plastic bag full of junk and pretty much looked fucked up. Then, as the tram started to move, he did the following:

1. Started shouting.
2. Hollered at random chics. For example 'WOOO-HOOOO!, AAAAAAAA! etc. etc.
3. Saw this dude that he most likely did not know and humped the air. A lot. What convinced me that the dude didn't know him was that he gave him the I-Don't-Fucking-Associate-Myself-With-Fucks-Like-You Grin. Copyrighted to me.

Everybody in the tram had the same thought. What the bloody fuck. It was on their faces, even the kids. The old man next to him waved in front of him just to shut him up but to no avail. At the next stop, the old man jumped of the tram. Literally.

The man continued his shouting/hollering/air humping until he arrived at his stop. Maybe it was his stop. I have no idea. Anyway, I was pretty much mind-fucked or easier and more politely said 'jammed' for awhile. Then the feeling of hate and despise grew in me. Then, this:

Compassion.
Understanding.
Reflection.

Why? Why should I spare my time for a useless bum like him? If you think that way then fuck off. I mean it. How shallow your mind and spirit truly is. How despicable. (No offense, but this is what I really think.)

The journey back home was filled with deep thinking. I kept on reminding myself. What if I was in his shoes? Would I shrivel up and die slowly in a corner or would I, like him, make a statement as if saying 'I AM FUCKING ALIVE!'? Would I lament and blame everybody else for what has happpened to me? Would I die that way?

I don't know. From the looks of it, that man has tasted life in a more direct way than I ever will. He might not have been there and done that but I am sure as hell we would never step into what he has gone through. I mean how many of us are like the old man? Try to shut him up and when we fail, we literally jump off and ignore? I can say that I am that old man. I try to deny it, but it is the truth, reality. Verum-i.

I'd like to meet that man again. I'd like to shake his hand and fucking thank him for making me realise where I have went wrong. I'd like to fucking thank him for waking me up. Most of all, I'd like to thank him for shoving reality down my throat.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyways.

Internet is back, thank the heavens for that. And thank you, Tharma and Nithya for telling me I have an awesome blog. (Note: I know you are reading this and I'd like to reveal to you that it was a mistake telling me. Now I will brag bout it until you decide to burn your PC/Laptop to ashes and sprinkle it into The Ganges to be purified. I'm kidding, really, thanks.)

I need to study Patho but I have neither the will nor the materials. The latter is pretty easy to get but the earlier. Umm... No, extremely difficult. But I have to. *Drinks Super-Will With Extra Eelekterolaights. Copyrighted to me.* Fuck, what a scam.

Back to presentations.

Oh, and the dude was most probably drunk and high. Therefore i deduce this:

Alcohol + Speed/Crack/Pot = Getting to be featured in a random guy's blog.

Fading Memories.

I'm forgetting. A lot. It scares me.

I forgot what my assignments are. So now I'm writing instead. I had such a clear idea on what I wanted to do when I was on my way to my friend's house. Now here I am sitting on the sofa trying to recall that the hell I wanted to do...

I know it had something to do with my presentations. I did my Histology and Pharmacology. I know there's something else I need to do. Fuck I hate this... Is it because of the lack of sleep? Or am I just starting to forget? Heavens forbid, I refuse to be like those characters in movies. I refuse.

Okay, done with that. Internet is down at home so here I am barging into my friend's house using their intenet. And trying to poison their kitten. Heh.

Finally got my camera charger back. Now I can at least do some photography. So out of touch lately, it feels as if apart of me is being erased slowly. Again, I refuse to let that happen. Nothing can take away my passion for photography. Hmmm...

I need ideas for stories. Things like random comments or conversations really help me in my writing. Thank God for over the edge imagination. Now the kitten just comfortably made my lap it's bed. Now's my chance to wring it's neck.

Now for some vanity.



Yeah, vanity, seven sins, whatever you call it. I don't fucking care. Heh. Taken during the last days I was at Ramlee's. Couldn't sleep that day so I got this idea for a 'vanity with a cigarette' idea. Yes, sleep deprivition does a lot to a guy. Tho the top image does appeal to me... Shodows are awesome!


And this... Is... the kitten... which I'm about to kill... *Supresses urge to take out dagger and skin the kitten alive* Ahem. Ahem-hem.

That is all.

The twisted sanctuary.

It is the most powerful thing in the world. It influences everything that a person does, be it good or bad. It is pure, yet it could be twisted. It is, without a doubt, the human mind.

See, I just came back from watching 'Coming Soon' at the Kampung. While we were together in a room, pfffttt that movie was like watching a cartoon made by person with very bad taste. As soon as I left for my house (a few steps away), I felt an extreme sense of fear. The few steps felt like a mile, in front of my door i fumbled to insert the key into the keyhole. I panicked. The darkness in my house added to the effect and then I switched on the light.

And instantly, the fear fled.

Why?

Simple. It's the mentality. We were brought up, at least i was, with tales of ghosts and spectres that lingered in the dark. Therefore, we immediately have this mindset of the dark being a very dangerous place. We bring the fears of our childhood throughout our life and whenever we are surrounded by darkness, we panic. Light becomes our saviour as it always has.

I don't know about you but have ever heard whispers when you are in a state of fear especially in the dark? I have and it scares the shietz out of me, every single time. It may be of supernatural origins but sometimes, it is just the power of the mind. My favourite example of the raw power of the mind is this:

A group of scientist gathered to study the power of the mind. They got this group of people and blindfolded them. The scientist told them that they were going to be injured to test their pain receptors. The scientist then rolled a piece of paper to resemble a cigarette and told the subjects that they were going to be burnt by a cigarette bud. Each one of them felt the pain from being poked by a paper. One of them had a burn mark on the area where she was poked.

How awesome is that? You might think it's crazy but it's true. I think people who watch House would approve. There's one episode that shows a variation of this. Still, the mind holds the greatest power.

Oh and the movie was pretty cool I guess, the chic was LE BOMB! Shit she was hot... Sigh...

Anyways, Dr. Sabry did not come as expected and I officially give up. Fuck him. Seriously. He tells me he's busy. Har-Har, has it occured to you that I'm a Medical Student? Maybe not. Still, I'm willing to sacrifice my time and meet you, what excuse do you have for not doing the same?

-Nepal's PM resigned which caused protests all over Nepal.
-Taliban and the Pakistan Government have agreed on a ceasefire. Still, the civilians are the ones that are really suffering.
-The US Army in Afghanistan caught red-handed trying to spread christianity which violates the code of conduct.

Courtesy of Al-Jazeera.

What else? Hmmm... Oh yeah, the funniest piece of news I've heard in a long time. Somalian pirates tried to attack a commercial ship. Or so they thought. Turns out, it was a French warship. 11 of em got caught. Tough luck mateys..

Sleepless Nights 5

I have confirmed the whereabouts of my camera charger. That took me two months... How long am I gonna take for my specs? 6 years? Raam Janne.

Anways, tomorrow I'm gonna meet up with Dr. Sabri. God, please let the fucker at least be there... I grow tired of waiting two bloody hours and he doesn't even arrive. The exhibition is this month? Damn, May came like a fucking bullet train didn't it? A lot has happened... Sighums...

I need my fucking Hindi! It's like I'm losing a part of myself without it. The 5 minute dance scenes, the impossible change of attire, the drama and most notable of them all, the sound effects. It's awesome how a few seconds before the punch/slap/terajang hits the opponent, there's already a DISH/DUSH... These are the things that makes it so umm... Watchable i guess. Besides, some songs are plain unrivalled. Ever wonder why everybody remembers Kuch Kuch Hota Hai? It's the song. Get what I mean now?

Tried to remember the hindi language again the other day. The result? Arab clouds the words. I kept on thinking 'Enta' is 'you' in hindi. Which sucks. A lot. Don't get me started on Punjabi. I couldn't even swear in the damn language anymore. Which makes it boring to chat with Sukh. Dude, admit it, without 'Terre Ma's its a tad bit boring.

My Latin is improving. I hope. I guess this is what I get for not actually learning from a teacher. Hmmm... I couldn't make sentences. Grammar becomes a fuck. Again. Was that the millionth time or the billionth? I think I lost count at ten...

Pictures! Yes, which blog would be complete without them. (The author admires his huge collection of incomplete blogs)

This has got to be my favourite photo in my portfolio. I still remember the time i took this; PWTC with Sukh, warm rain, awesome-ness to the max! Corny, i know. Still, i thought, what the fuck, the rain is what i really need anyway so i set my camera, gave Sukh some basic instructions and voila. Rainy Day by SadisticParadise has been officially born. It's a bit blurry here, if you want (The author supresses his urge to type 'Please do me a favour and fucking), visit my DeviantArt page for a better view. The link is somewhere under the profile box me thinks. Oh, and talking bout times in PWTC, do you know that the UMNO building has no security whatsoever? Sukh, PJ and me waltz in through the back door and we were in. We even asked the staff where the exit was. And got to ride in the huge staff elevator. Yes, I'm a kid, it was awesome.

So I end this reminiscing. Good ol' days.

Doodles in Lectures.

This is what i 'doodled ' in class. I have no idea what it was at first but when i finished drawing the eyes (one eye has been cropped out due to total uselessness and ugliness) i started to get these ideas and well, lets just say nothing got to me in the lecture.

What does this drawing signify? A couple of things actually. Lemme start with the hand.


Hmmm lets see. The hand represents the action of man. In this drawing, it is mainly of evil; this is signified by the tattoos which is sin. This is followed by the eye.


Ugly, i know, don't need to annoy me. Anyways, the eye represents what we see and our intent. This is because the eye serves as our vision; we see things and then decide what to do with it. The design that is on both sides of the eye signifies our conscience. The one on the left; evil, it is full of sharp edges which could injure and it is twisted. The one on the right is of purity, it curves therefore it does not pierce, there is no complications. The frame around the eye show that it is ultimate, the master. Next; the crown.

Okay, i admit. Its more alien-like. The crown is there to further prove the point that the eye is the master.


The fingers wrapped around the earth in flames. The fingers around the earth is to show that we try to save the earth, we try to protect it. However the way we do it is often wrong and results in further destruction. Therefore; the flames are present around them.

Yes, i doodle a lot. In unrelated news:

• Arsenal won yesterday!
• The arts teacher in need.
• Jiggly-Jiggly!

Bout Arsenal. Not really contented with how they play but still, a win is a win.

My photography teacher has been pestering me and Afiq bout how much he wants to see us. Problem is, I went a few times and he wasn't there. Le Fuck? I mean you pressure us to a point that we feel sorry for you and you weren't there? Asshole. But that dude is awesome, his works are crazy. He wanted to see us to explain bout some exhibition he wanted us to join. Hmmm...

Oh and of course, Jiggly-Jiggly.

I won't tell you, it is for my personal satisfaction that the event occured XD

Till next time I doodle something significant, ciow.