Monday, May 18, 2009

The Day I Lost My Life.

Life.

So many ways to describe it. It is abstract yet, it is so well defined. The word is used millions of times every single day but it can be summed up into a mere object.

Life.

I lived my life knowing that if things go smoothly in the morning, it's going to be a good day. For example, when I was in school, I knew how the day was going to unfold just by waking up and going to the kitchen. Breakfast will decide. If it was oats/ half boiled eggs then hell, it was going to be a really bad day. If it was some fancy cereal i.e. koko crunch and the likes of it, it was going to be a good day.

As I grew up, I developed the habit of not going out of the house unless my 3 jeans pockets are filled with my phone, cigarettes and a lighter, wallet and keys.

Yesterday.

Someone stole my jeans.

Yesterday.

I lost my life.

(The author takes time off to calm himself down.)

I wasn't angry. Why should I be? It was because of my foolishness and carelessness that led to the incident. So I did not blame the thief, I did not blame the surrounding people, I only blamed myself. It was the right thing to do. However, I was saddened because I knew that by losing my wallet and phone especially, I will have to do something I hate.

Depend.

I hate it. I hate of all things, to depend on another person, whether it be a brother or a friend. It is such a despicable act. My soul burns each time I have to ask a favour from one person. It... *sigh*

When the incident happened, I surprised myself because I could keep my spirits up and keep calm. I always thought that I would flip in the event that I lost my wallet but I didn't. I keep telling myself, maybe the person who stole it needed it more than me, maybe he/she was so desperate that he/she needed to steal. Wallahualam. What happened, happened. I can only learn from my mistake.

It made me suffer. I have yet to eat anything today. Still, whoever stole it, I forgive you, may Allah forgive you. That is all I can afford to do.

It's when life is not fucking me up that I should make the primetime news- Sukhvinder Singh Siddhu

7 comments:

Simple. said...

gosh u r so strong
kalau aku lah kan
maybe x lah calm cm ko
as kalo aku byk duiit skali pon
but far away from my parents
i thinked it was disaster lorh.

you go, Zufar!

Zufar Ismail Zeid said...

Dude, thats just flattering me man... haha... Aku cam... tah la, so many things going on, so mentality aku dah set towards being this way in any situation... Haha..

ikanosha said...

Damn, sorry to hear.
Very kind of you to forgive instead of bitchin'. I'd probably cry. But I'm a girl so that's allowed.

I'm curious though, how the hell did someone steal you jeans?

Zufar Ismail Zeid said...

coz im a rockstar and ive got bitches stalking me XD no la, beach trip... nuff said

ikanosha said...

OH. Okay, now it make sense.
Well, hang in there.

athirah ali said...

wey takes a real civilized person to forgive just like you did.

something good will come out of this. it has to. because you're handling the situation so well.

Zufar Ismail Zeid said...

Hahaha I'm just so tired you know. I mean theres a lot of shit happening la, one more wont hurt. So I was like, whatever happens happens, maybe he/she needed it more. And life goes on, I know that. Still, it sucks having to depend on ppl.