The sunset depression.

I walked to God knows where with Kadir this evening. I was bored, fuck me. So basically he was like we are gonna watch the sunset. Fine by me, sunsets are awesome. Yeah, an awesome way to induce depression.

So we walked, talked laughed, ogled, watched etc etc until we reached the said place. We got a spot which was directly in front of the sun (I can find no other way to describe this). So we talked, laughed, ogled, watched etc etc and ordered some coke (Note: Coke as in Coca-Cola. Don't pester me with lame jokes bout cocaine.)

Smoked, blinded by the sun.

Then Kadir decided to pay for the coke. This dude waltz by, says it was 10 pounds.

Dude: 10 pounds.
Me: Fuck off.
Kadir: *Same context as what the fuck but in a more polite way.
Scene: this went on for eternity.
Dude: 7 pounds.
Me: Fuck off.
Kadir: No, 5 pounds.
Scene: Another eternity passes by.

We gave up. Basically, we paid 7 bucks for 2 mini cokes. What a pain.

Then the sun started to set.

From the proud King it once was, it descended lower and lower down, averting the gazes of the clouds surrounding him, he lost his power, his radiance. In the end he was reduced to a red orb, slowly drowned by the merciless horizon.

And with that, I got depressed. Why? Why did such a beautiful scenery bring me down? It occurred to me how fucked up that 'beautiful scenery' really is. I guessed it pained me to see how something so powerful could be reduced to nothingness, yet doing so in a matter of grace. It pained me not to see something fall and not get destroyed. How it could bring out the most vibrant colours in the sky even after it had disappeared from view. The injustice.

It also brought back memories. Good ones mostly, maybe one or two bad ones. I remember the times in college where me and Sukh would wait for the sunset just to see one particular building to be completely outlined by the bright sun. It was a balcony; shaped in a Zen way and it was and still is one of the most beautiful things i have ever witnessed in my life. Nothing could beat that. (Note: I am not gay. Tis is not a gay scene.)

I started thinking. How could one fall with so much grace. Can a human do that? Can a human leave a trail of vibrancy even after said human has passed on? I hate these questions, they disturb my peace of mind. For example, a leader. This situation is far deeper than let's say a leader quits and the followers regard him as the best fuck around. If it is a leader, I would probably imagine it to be more like:

The leader stood up, brushed his clothes and smiled. His eyes scanned the crowd and he started to walk towards the people that has always looked towards him for help. As he walked, the crowd parted until the last man stepped aside. The leader kept on walking, until he disappeared from view. The people have lost their leader yet in their hearts they could never substitute a place for him. They never spoke of him after that but he was always with them.

Yeah something like that. I don't know.

Today was filled with boredom and depression due to sunsets. Tomorrow, this will burn and turn into ashes. The wind will caress it, the wind will adopt it, the wind will take it away.